Fathers and daughters need each other. A dad can give a daughter a special confidence and sense of her own value in a very special way. A strong father/daughter bond helps a daughter navigate through the many tough challenges of the teenage years and early adulthood. Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia
While reading the blogs this morning, I ran across a recent interview with Halle Berry and The Sun magazine. In the interview she talks about her mistakes in love.
She confessed; I WISH I had known then that I was not the marrying kind. It would have saved me a lot of time, heartache and grief over the years. I made all the wrong choices when it came to love. I have been an idiot. But, now, it is like a gift to myself – seeing more clearly and making better decisions. One thing was unavoidable. My father left us when I was young and that did affect my life. If I had a good father in my life, growing up, then I do not think I would have made the mistakes I made. I would not have been lost in love. I would have had a good role model and known what to look for.
Stories like Halle’s are why fathers are so important to daughters. It breaks my heart to hear the rising statistics of children born into broken homes. Ideally, children need to see both mother and father working together, loving each other while raising them in a supportive environment. Fathers are a girl’s first example of a man and boys learn how to be men from their fathers.
Daughter’s expectations of how she should be treated by a man and what she deserves from a man are picked up by what she sees her mother accepting and receiving from her father. When a father is absent or abusive, more times than not daughters tend to attract the same type of man into her life or she looks for a good father figure in every man she chooses. Halle is 100% correct; fathers show us what to look for in a mate. I thank God everyday for my dad and his excellent example of a husband and father.
As I’ve watched Halle’s love life unfold over the years, I have always said it would be different if she had a better example of a father. I’m glad she’s finally come to realize the root cause of her poor choices. If she were to work out the details and experience complete healing in this major area of her life, I believe she would enjoy marriage the way she’s always wanted to.
So my dear Halle, while you’ve made some bad choices (who hasn’t) you have not been an idiot. You were simply a woman doing the best you could with the information you received. Perhaps it took you a little longer to realize it but now you do. I commend you for the courage to speak on it.
Hopefully you will share your new found wisdom with your daughter and as she grows up she will make better choices and break the cycle that has plagued you for so many years. As long as we are alive and breathing, we have a chance to get it right. Now is your chance.
Something to think about…
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