Just Say No To Dating Busters

by Yvonne Chase on October 21, 2015

PJ: What is it about him?

Mary Jane: I have been asking myself that forever.  Maybe it’s because he reminds me of Dad; he’s successful and handsome.  I believed him when he told me he loved me. Unfortunately, I put all of my eggs in Davids basket and…its too hard to find a good one…like, start over…its too hard.

PJ: Men like David don’t know how to show up.  That’s the type of guy that’s been coddled his whole life.  And the brothers with the silver spoons…those are the worst.  See, we silver spoon brothers think just because we went to private school or were never jailed, black women should be happy they’re in our presence. When a man’s been catered to his whole life because his family’s got money or he’s pretty and the right shade of light, he doesn’t know how to work for anything.  I believe David loves you…I do but fight for you, be there for you, show up for you? You’ll are letting us ruin you. Stop! Say no to us.

Mary Jane: I’m a human being.  I was created to be touched. Women…women are beautiful and created to be desired.  I want to be told I’m beautiful and that I can’t be lived without.  I really don’t think we were put on this earth to be alone…I just have to remind myself that all the time.  You know what I mean…

PJ: You’re a complicated and challenging woman and that is beautiful, but you gotta be able to recognize that not every man is cut out to deal with that.   When everything comes easily to a man the last thing he’s  cut out to do is fight for a difficult woman.  Sis, You fell in love with a buster and that’s ok it happens, but you deserve more than the words I love you.

Left Her Face Twisted
That was the dialogue between Mary Jane (Gabrielle Union) and her brother PJ (B.J. Britt) on the season 3 premiere of the hit show Being Mary Jane.  At the end of season 2, Mary Jane had a bad car accident that left viewers wondering.  We also got caught up in her rollercoaster relationship with David who was also sexually involved with her best friend Lisa.  Knowledge of that detail is what caused Mary Jane to lose control of her car that rainy night and end up in an accident that left her face twisted. Watch the clip below and we’ll talk after…

Men Do What We Allow
As I watched PJ school Mary Jane, I was grateful I didn’t need to hear his sermon.  I hope the women who needed to hear it tuned in and took notes.  PJ is right, we are letting men/busters ruin us when we don’t have the courage to say no.  Instead of monkey barring from one man to the next, women ought to use that time getting to know the woman in the mirror.  We won’t say no to dating and falling in love with busters until we know our worth and raise our deserve levels. Women hold all the power and men only do what we allow.  Too many women hinge their ultimate happiness on to having a man and that is what Mary Jane has done.  No matter how fabulous her life looks, she won’t be fully happy nor will she have arrived until she is attached to a man and that is sad.  If a man isn’t willing to show up for you, fight for you and be there for you, he’s not the right man for you…period!

Something to think about…

What say you? Did you watch the episode? Why do you believe women can’t/won’t say no to busters?

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