Ladies, His Decision To Marry Has Nothing Do With You

by Yvonne Chase on January 19, 2016

His Decision To Marry Has Nothing To Do With You
Earlier today while surfing the web, I ran across an article titled; You Break Up, He Marries Her: What She’s Doing That You Didn’t.  The title jumped out at me but it didn’t resonate with me because the reality is his decision to marry has nothing to do with you.  Plus I don’t like the comparative spirit of the title.  Now a woman is left thinking she has to do the most to get a guy to marry her.  She doesn’t.  He just has to be ready.

Stagnant Relationship
The article starts out by saying: “The scenario is all too familiar. You’ve been in a stagnant relationship with a man you someday hope to marry, and then suddenly things come to an end.  The next thing you know, he’s married to someone else.”

He Marries When He Is Ready To Be Married
The keyword in that paragraph is stagnant.  Why are you in a stagnant relationship? A woman stays in stagnant relationships thinking she can make him ready.  She stays thinking she can move the relationship forward to the altar when the reality is she can’t.  I’m about to make a bold statement that may piss you off but here goes; there is nothing a woman can do to make a man ready for marriage.  Nothing! He marries when he is ready to be married and decides to be married. Period! All bets are off until then.  He’ll stay in a stagnant relationship with you as long as you allow it.  It’s stagnant to you, not him.  He’s good!

Marriage Is Her End Goal
Most single women date to find a husband.  Marriage is her end goal. Until a man decides to be married, he’s enjoying all the benefits that come with bachelorhood. The end goal for him is sex, a good time, companionship, someone to cuddle with when it’s cold etc.  Yes, he likes you, otherwise, he wouldn’t spend time with you but just because he spends time with you doesn’t mean he wants to marry you. According to the article, here’s some of what she did that you didn’t do that landed her the ring. She:

  • Builds him up
  • Supports His Dreams
  • Creates Memories
  • Is Spontaneous
  • “Blows” His Mind
  • Always Looks Fab
  • Inserts Herself Into His World
  • Offers Solutions In Arguments
  • Allows Herself To Be Vulnerable
  • Nurtures Him

Date A Man Who Is Ready To Be Married
Every woman in a relationship right now is doing a few if not all of the above and he still hasn’t gotten down on bended knee and asked for her hand in marriage.  Ladies, it has nothing to do with what you’re doing or not doing. You could do all of this and then some and he still won’t marry you until he’s good and ready.  So here’s the solution…you want to be married? Date a man who is ready to be married. How will you know he’s ready? He will tell you and he will show you. Most men are 100% up front about if and when they want to be married.  Want a public example? Russell Wilson.  If Russell hasn’t proposed to Ciara yet, he will very soon.  He’s going to marry Ciara.  His words and his actions from day one are that of a man who is ready to be married.  

Pay Attention
So here’s the solution ladies; don’t put yourself in another stagnant relationship thinking the more you do, the better your chances are of getting a ring.  Instead, go on dates, have conversations and  watch his behavior.  Listen to what he says and doesn’t say.  Look at his friends. Look at how he spends his time. Men tell us everything we need to know about where he is and the kind of relationship he wants.  Pay attention otherwise you will be in “Neutral” for a long time.  


Something to think about…

What say you? Can a woman do anything to make a man marry her sooner than he is ready? Does a woman’s actions influence his decision to marry?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

 1.  Leave a comment below

 2.  Share this post if you like it
Christabel February 12, 2016

Preach! Preach It!

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