Deonna, Matt And Unpopular Opinions

by Yvonne Chase on June 17, 2019

The new season of Married of First Sight is in full swing and I’m watching. Are you? I have my eye on two couples this season because I personally relate to their stories. First up, Deonna and Greg. When Greg was introduced on the matchmaking special, I tweeted, “I need a Greg in my life; a man who believes in Jesus Christ and is serious about growing in his faith.”

Deonna

During his interview, he shared his strong desire to be with a woman who shares his Christian faith. The expert let him know that his strict criteria eliminate a lot of folks. Greg was fine with it. I am Greg! Yes, my Christian faith eliminates a lot of folks from the possibility of dating, however, for me, it won’t work any other way. Deonna wants the same.

While I have yet to see how their personalities, lifestyle, and families will mesh, based on their wedding ceremony, vows and the little that I’ve seen so far, I sincerely believe they have a shot at going the distance.  When Deonna shared she hadn’t dated or been in a relationship in 10 years, the experts were very concerned and so was Greg. The look on his face read:

After she explained it all, he understood and it wasn’t an issue for him. It’s not an issue for me either. I think more singles need to take a page out of her book. The romantic relationship scene is fraught with frustration because singles are not taking the time to just be with themselves.

It was refreshing to hear Deonna say she dated herself during that time which is a far cry from what most singles are doing today. Many go in and out of relationships often dating the same person with a different name.

During her hiatus from dating, Deonna took the time to get over a previous relationship and she also used that time to complete grad school, travel, work, purchase a home and be the best person she can be for this moment. Greg hadn’t been on a date in two years and did the same preparation at that time after a broken engagement.

Deonna

There’s something to be said about guarding your heart while single and not exposing it to whosoever will for the sake of companionship. There’s also something even greater to be said about singles like Deonna who have the courage to date themselves in a world that calls you crazy and labels you damaged goods for doing so. From observation and personal experience, many of the damaged ones are those who go in and out of relationships.

Next up is Matt, a professional basketball player with impressive meal prepping skills. You know what I’m talking about if you watched. His meal prep game is on point! A man that meal preps is my kind of man. They are a real-life Love & Basketball story because she too loves the game and has dribbled the ball up and down the court. Matt’s situation is unique because his family doesn’t know he got Married At First Sight.

Deonna

His parents divorced and he says, “I haven’t spoken to or seen my dad in over two years.” A lot of things went down in his family that led him to the decision of not including them in the biggest day of his life. Instead, he had a group of great friends by his side. That takes a whole lot of courage.

One person tweeted, “Wait what?!?! Matt’s family is not there because he didn’t invite them?! Red flag?” My response was, not necessarily. Some family members are toxic. Matt seems like a great guy with a sincere soul. I hope Amber doesn’t hold his family situation against him. I wouldn’t. Just because someone doesn’t have a relationship with their family doesn’t mean they aren’t a great catch and it also doesn’t mean family isn’t important to them. Family goes much deeper than our bloodline.

We don’t choose our family of birth. Unfortunately, all families don’t get along. Family members are people too. All people don’t get along. I’ve never understood the notion that because someone is your blood they are automatically a good person who likes you, loves you, treats you well and has your best interest at heart. I’m glad Matt didn’t let his family drama stop him from living a full life and taking a huge risk to find a wife and create the family he wants. Go, Matt! I’m wholeheartedly cheering him on because his story is my story.

Deonna
Unpopular Opinion

During an interview with The Breakfast Club, gospel recording artist Kirk Franklin shared he doesn’t have a relationship with his mother. He said, “One thing about growing up, you now have a chance to guard your own heart. When you’re a kid, sometimes you become a victim of everybody’s foolishness but when you get grown you can say you know what, I’m good. I tap out!” Matt chose to tap out!

Sometimes we find ourselves in a horrible family situation and then we marry into a loving family. Perhaps this will be Matt’s story. I certainly hope so.

Deonna
Matthew Gwynne & Amber Bowles

Something to think about…

What say you? Is it a red flag that someone hasn’t dated in 10 years prior to marriage? Would you date someone who doesn’t have a relationship with their family? Is that a red flag? What are your views on family?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }

Karen Friday June 17, 2019

Hey Yvonne, as always I enjoyed your reflections on relationships. And I’m not familiar with this show…don’t watch much television. But this has certianly piqued my interest. I agree with your sentiments: It is good for singles to guard their hearts and not “exposing it to whosoever will for the sake of companionship.” Which is also in line with Kirk Franklin’s thought that once we are grown, we have the chance to guard our own heart. You and I know a little of each other’s story when it comes to family and the importance of guarding our heart. To answer your question: I don’t think either of these situations are red flags in a relationship.

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Yvonne Chase June 17, 2019

@Karen,

Married At First Sight is a very interesting show. While I’m not a fan of the experimental part of it, I do learn a whole lot from watching. I think the experts got it right this season with Deonna and Greg and Amber and Matt. Perfect pairings!

I am Deonna and Matt wrapped up in one package and that is why neither of their circumstances is a red flag for me. Guarding my heart on both fronts as I move forward…
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Lauren Sparks June 18, 2019

Sounds interesting. I the answer to those questions largely depends on the reasons and how you feel in your spirit praying about them. laurensparks.net
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Yvonne Chase June 21, 2019

@Lauren,

The reasons definitely need to be considered and yes, praying about it is always best.
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Rebecca Hastings June 20, 2019

We all come to relationships with our own experiences, ideas and hopes. The best thing we can do is bring it all to the cross and walk forward from there.
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Yvonne Chase June 21, 2019

@Rebecca,

Love this: “Bring it all to the cross and walk forward from there.” Amen!
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MotherGeek June 20, 2019

Not seen this show but you make it would worth a look #dreamteam
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GirlsGospel June 20, 2019

I keep meaning to watch this show – you certainly make it sound worth a look
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Yvonne Chase June 21, 2019

@GirlsGospel,

I’ve been watching since season 1 skipping a season two in between. It’s definitely worth a look. What I like about it the most are the lessons. I think it’s a great show for both singles and married to watch.

P.S. I enjoyed reading your post and left a comment. Thank you for sharing something so deeply personal.
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MumFounded June 20, 2019

Love the idea of tapping out. I need to do that for sure! #dreamteam
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Yvonne Chase June 21, 2019

@MumFounded,

Sometimes tapping out is our only shot at maintaining our sanity and peace of mind. Do it if you must.
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Laurie June 21, 2019

I have never watched “Married at First Sight”, but now I want to! I always enjoy reading your take on relationships. You have such good insights and write in such a compelling way. My hubs and I dated for 4 years before we got married. I thought we knew each other pretty well by then, but there was still a lot to learn!
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Donna Reidland June 21, 2019

I have never watched the show, but to your question about not dating for 10 years. I don’t think it’s a red flag if the person is using the time to grow in their relationship with God and focusing on serving Him.
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anne - Raisie Bay (@RaisieBay) June 22, 2019

I’ve not watched Married at First Sight but I am on your side. I spent a few years alone after my husband left and didn’t date until I felt ready. Even then I made a few mistakes based on poor choices just because I was lonely. It worked out in the end though. Also, I have a bad relationship with my family and when I married again there were only a few members there. Everyone’s story is different but my family split when a certain member did something very bad and the family took sides. A really interesting post and thank you for linking up to #wotw. I’ve shared for you and the word I’d choose for your post is ‘relationships’
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Yvonne Chase June 29, 2019

@Anne,

Dating when you’re ready is the best idea whether it’s 10 days, 10 months or 10 years. There are pros and cons to every choice.

Thanks for sharing your family drama. When we share our stories, we give others the courage to share and hopefully we can all learn, heal and grow.
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Elaine Livingstone June 23, 2019

Must be hard to step back into dating when you have not done it in a number of years, I would have no idea where and how to start if \i ever became single again.
I would be wary of somebody who had no relationship with any members of their family, especially of I was letting them near my children/grandchildren. #WoTW
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Yvonne Chase June 29, 2019

@Elaine,

I’m sure it would be hard to step back out there, however, if we want something badly enough, we pull ourselves together and we make it happen.
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Anita Ojeda June 23, 2019

I’ve never heard of this show before–it sounds interesting! I can relate to the toxic family problem–my mother-in-law has caused a lot of toxicity–we’ve learned to set boundaries.
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Yvonne Chase June 29, 2019

@Anita,

Boundaries are a lifesaver!
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Annette, 3 Little Butons June 24, 2019

I’ve not watched this show – but it does sounds fascinating to see what other people’s relationship view points are. I might have a peek! Thanks for joining us for the #DreamTeam linky.

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Susan Mann June 25, 2019

I’ve not seen this show, but it sounds really interesting. Lovely photos too x #wotw

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Rebecca Jones June 26, 2019

I don’t care for reality shows, but I caught a glimpse of that one, I agree about toxic people. And totally agree with guarding a single heart, more women should, there is far too much divorce, domestic violence and abuse. Thanks, Yvonne.

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Yvonne Chase June 29, 2019

@Rebecca,

You are absolutely right. There is far too much divorce, domestic violence, and abuse to just give our hearts to just anybody. Thanks, Rebecca.
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Dee | Grammy's Grid June 27, 2019

Just started watching the show and in my opinion, no, it isn’t a red flag that she hasn’t dated in 10 years, and that he didn’t invite his family. Anxious to see the next episode!
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Boma July 5, 2019

In the end, only God can truly know a person. It’s wisdom to always let Him lead. Thanks for sharing, Yvonne. Blessings to you!

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