Does He Have to Have it ALL Together?

by Yvonne Chase on February 28, 2011


Way back in our parent’s day, we could actually count on having a job and career until Jesus returns.  Today; not so much!  We are living in a different and very new world that offers no guarantees.  We could have it “all together” today and by this evening our world could come crashing down.  Because this is true, we need to pay more attention to who someone is vs. what someone has when making relationship decisions.

Unfortunately, we’re very mercenary with one another and as a result, many men today are steering clear of commitment until they have it “all together” because many women won’t accept anything less.  I’ve talked to numerous men who say, Yvonne; I have to build my empire before I make a full commitment.  I gotta buy a house, get my MBA, put at least 10,000 dollars in my savings, get  a new car and just make more money before I settle down and commit. Do you know how long all of that can take? While the ambition is quite admirable, this thought process makes it bad for the many single women out there who are waiting on men to fulfill their God given role.

Here’s what I know for sure, life has a way of throwing a wrench in our best laid plans.  When my brother married 18 ½ years ago, he nor his wife ever imagined they would have to literally live out the vows of in sickness and health.  As I sat watching my brother in his final hours this week last year, a six figure salary, a 5 bedroom house, luxury car or fancy wardrobe would’ve meant nothing to him as he left this earth and went home to meet his maker.

In those lemonade moments of life, we need someone in our corner that has the strength and stamina to stick it out.  “Stuff” is insignificant when our backs are up against the wall.  Because this is so, we need to see how someone responds when life throws them a bag of lemons.  We want to really check out a person’s character, check out their heart and take a close look at their lives to see if those important values are present.  1 Samuel 16:7 admonishes us to be like God and look within, But God told Samuel, “Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges’ persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.”

We’re all works in progress and no matter how successful some of us may be; none of us has it all together.  How about we try to be more like God when meeting people? How about shifting our focus from what a person has to who a person really is at their core…in their heart? Remember this, what you have and what you do have absolutely nothing to do with who you are.

Something to think about…

Hawada March 1, 2011

This mindset and behavior is rooted competition, we were told and encouraged to compete early and throughout life to the point where we never take the time to look inside ourselves to value our true selves. This is the trick played on us, as a Man who quit his job I never looked at a job as a defining thing or money as nothing more than it frees up time to do what you really desire. People need to learn to look within for the true human being not what they have.

Miguel March 2, 2011

Indeed…well said…

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