Ladies, Don’t You EVER Freeze Your Eggs With Your Fiance

by Yvonne Chase on May 5, 2015

Big Fight Over The Embryos
Have you been following the saga between Sofia Vergara and Nick Loeb? I think it’s so disgusting! Sofia Vergara, star of Modern Family and her then fiancé Nick Loeb merged her eggs with his sperm via IVF then put them in the freezer until they were ready to be parents once they married.  Why on earth did they think that was a good idea? Guess what? They broke up and now there’s a big fight over the embryos. 

Life Could Change In The Blink Of An Eye
Sofia and Nick met in 2010.  Six months into their relationship, he was in a terrible car accident that put his life into full perspective.  A car accident will do that to you.  His pelvis was fractured in five places and he couldn’t walk on his own for six months.  He says, “I saw how life could change in the blink of an eye.”  They got engaged in 2012 and that is when Nick began to push for children.  Sofia’s career was just starting out.  She insisted they use a surrogate and the IVF process began.  Two girls were eventually formed and frozen.  I should mention, Sofia has a son from a previous marriage. Nick has no children.  

eggs
Keep The Embryos Frozen Indefinitely
Back to the saga…as time went on, Nick realized being a parent was more urgent for him than her.  He says, “We had been together for over four years.  As I was coming on 40, I gave her an ultimatum. When she refused, we split up.  A few months later, I asked her to let me have the embryos, offering to pay for all expenses to carry our girls to term and raise them.  If she did not wish to share custody, I would take on full parenting responsibilities and agree to have her declared an egg donor.  She has refused.  Her lawyer, Fred Silberberg, has told reporters that she wants to keep the embryos “frozen indefinitely.”  In my view, keeping them frozen forever is tantamount to killing them.”

Protect The Life Of His Or Her Unborn Child
He continues, “When we create embryos for the purpose of life, should we not define them as life, rather than as property? Does one person’s desire to avoid biological parenthood (free of any legal obligations) outweigh another’s religious beliefs in the sanctity of life and desire to be a parent? A woman is entitled to bring a pregnancy to term even if the man objects.  Shouldn’t a man who is willing to take on all parental responsibilities be similarly entitled to bring his embryos to term even if the woman objects? These are issues that, unlike abortion, have nothing to do with the rights over one’s own body, and everything to do with a parent’s right to protect the life of his or her unborn child.  Many have asked me: Why not just move on and have a family of your own? I have every intention of doing so. But that doesn’t mean I should let the two lives I have already created be destroyed or sit in a freezer until the end of time.”

A Child Needs A Mother
Sofia says, “A child needs a mother.  More than a mother, it needs a loving relationship of parents.”  Why didn’t you think about that before freezing the eggs? They signed a consent form that says nothing could be done with the embryos unless, they agreed, however, Nick says, “The form did not specify what would happen if they separated.  Did you know there are an estimated 600,000 frozen embryos in the country?  Yikes! I had no idea.

Lust And Looks
Sofia is now engaged to Joe Manganiello.  That relationship as I see it won’t last.  It’s all about lust and looks.  She’s beautiful. He’s handsome.  They look gorgeous together.  What else is there? Let me say one more thing before I go, there are certain things you don’t do until you marry and freezing eggs is at the top of the list.  Here’s what else is on the list:

  • Don’t buy a house, an apartment, condo, coop, two-room shack or any kind of property
  • Don’t start a business, merge your businesses or buy a franchise
  • Don’t share bank accounts
  • Don’t buy a car, SUV, Fred Flinstone buggy, boat, private jet or any other type of transportation
  • Don’t transplant organs; liver, lungs, kidneys etc.
  • Don’t buy anything that will need an attorney to oversee in the end should you break up.

eggs
Something to think about…

What say you? Are you team Nick or team, Sofia? Should the embryos remain frozen? Is keeping them frozen tantamount to killing them? What would you do if you were Sofia? How would you feel if you were Nick? What else would you add to the list of what not to do until you’re married?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

 1.  Leave a comment below

 2.  Share this post if you like it


P.S. You can read Nick’s entire op-ed piece here.

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Eleanor Rubin May 8, 2015

This is such a mess! Who freezes eggs with someone other than their spouse?

A male friend of mine is going through hell after his engagement ended. He and his fiance lived together in a house they bought together. The court battle has been insane. He joked that he wanted to get a chainsaw and cut the house in half the way Madea did with that couch in Diary of a Mad Black Woman.

I agree with you 100%; “Don’t buy anything that will need an attorney to oversee in the end should you break up.”

Reply

Yvonne Chase May 12, 2015

@Eleanor,

There are just certain things you don’t do until you’re married…period! I too know a couple who went through a battle for the house. It ended very ugly in court and cost both of them more than they could afford to pay. Unnecessary heartache and stress. Who needs that?

Wait until you get married to act like you’re married!
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Yulunda May 8, 2015

This is Bananas and a testament of how foolish and naive we can be.

I totally agree with not signing over your life who is not vested.

Lord help us!
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Heather May 9, 2015

The way I see it, if you are married and get divorced (been there) this could happen too. It’s a sad situation, but to me it has to do with human flaw, not the fact they weren’t married. Had she had a ring on her finger, the outcome probably would have been the same.
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Yvonne Chase May 12, 2015

@Heather,

I doubt it would happen with these two in marriage because I’m sure in addition to the agreement already in place, they would sign another agreement + a prenup agreement that would outline in detail what would happen to the embryos now that they are in fact married.

What they did was not smart!
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AwesomelyOZ May 11, 2015

Wow this is quite the pickled mess. I’d say let Nick have the embryos and she can have visitation rights if she wishes to be part of their lives. If it’s something he wants so badly she ought to grant it to him. If she was so opposed she shouldn’t have went through this whole process in the first place. You pointed out how she said “A child needs a mother” – well those children, those embryos, DO have a mother: her. She invested her genetics and eggs – she IS the biological/genetic mother. Good luck to them with this battle, I’m sure the moral discussion and conundrum this is giving rise to will be never ending. Definitely great post Yvonne! Have a great one! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase May 12, 2015

@Iva,

I agree with you 100%. She should let Nick have the embryos. He doesn’t want any money from her whatsoever to raise the girls so she’s off the hook. He said if she wants to be involved, fine. If she doesn’t, that’s fine too. They can both move on with their lives and be happy.

Leaving them in the freezer doesn’t sit well with me at all…especially knowing how much he wants to be a father.
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Kimberly June 4, 2015

Thanks for filling me on this one. I only knew a small part of the story. Wow! Nick and Sofia should have put way more thought into that one before freezing such developed embryos. I didn’t even know that you could go that far with IVF and then halt the process. I did hear that Nick was being accused of making this public to gain attention. He’s been making his rounds on the talk show circuit. This is a tough one! But, I do believe he has a horse in this race. Thanks for sharing on #trafficjamweekend.
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Yvonne Chase June 4, 2015

@Kimberly,

I don’t care what anybody says, freezing your eggs with any man other than your husband is foolish. If Sofia doesn’t want the babies, she should give them to Nick who desperately wants them and they should both sign a detailed agreement that outlines every nuance of this messy situation.
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