Dress How You Want To Be Addressed

by Yvonne Chase on February 24, 2016

Diametrically Opposed
There’s been a lot of talk in the media lately about how women dress. First there was the controversial video of Devon Franklin shutting a woman down who asked his wife Meagan Good if she was going to cover up.  Then there was a whole lot of conversation around the dress Ciara wore to the Grammy awards and then there was the conversation on It’s Not You, It’s Men with guests Yvette Nicole Brown and Amber Rose whose views are diametrically opposed.  When Rev Run said, “Dress how you want to be addressed,” Amber Rose replied,”Oh boo! No, that’s not realistic. Stop it! If I want to wear a short skirt or a tank top, and I’m at the club and I’m having fun with my friends and I feel sexy, I’m not even looking at you. I don’t even want to have sex with you. I didn’t come here to have sex. I didn’t come here to hook up with nobody. I came out here with my girls, and I just feel pretty. I’m not asking for nothing.”

Righteously Ashamed
Yvette Nicole Brown spoke my heart when she said, “Women have stopped being ladies.  The whole idea that people no longer have shame. You remember when you used to be ashamed of stuff? Righteously ashamed? It ain’t even about being Holy.  The idea was certain parts of your body shouldn’t be online, certain things shouldn’t be said and done with just anybody…we’ve lost shame.  It’s a shift! When women stopped protecting what was precious to them and started giving it away to everybody, this generation started getting crazy! Everything became a free for all and nobody is covering up.  I’m talking to my sisters because we have to do better for ourselves, “When did it get to the point that what is behind you (butt) is more important than what’s in here? (pointing to her head.)”

We Have Lust Issues Too
The cover it up conversation continued on Twitter when a male follower said, “Meagan Good got to cover up her cleavage but men out here wearing ish that’s revealing too. I’ve seen so many people say yes, cover up when nobody says anything to men.  We can’t play.”  After reading his tweet, I asked, what are men wearing/not wearing that needs to be covered up? A female follower mentioned tight pants that show his genitalia.  She said, “Men with extremely tight pants at church especially is inappropriate. We don’t need to see what you have.  We have lust issues too and anything done by men to trigger that should also be addressed.  If I have to wear a shirt at the gym so does my husband.  Why should the standard differ?”

Lusting After Man Boobs
The standard differs because women have breasts and men don’t.  Duh! Even if he does have breasts, I can guarantee you no woman is drooling over his breasts.  No woman wants to touch his breasts sexually or sensually.  If anything, they are giving him the serious side eye wondering why he has breasts and they want him to cover up immediately because they are completely turned off. I don’t know any woman turned on or lusting after man boobs (moobs).  Do you?

Women Are Not Men
Covering up doesn’t apply to men in the way it applies to women because they are men.  Minus his penis, a man has nothing else to cover up that will initiate a response similar to what a man feels when he sees a woman’s body.  Why are we trying to create a world where women can do everything a men do? Women are not men. Do women now want to pull up our dress and drop our skirt to pee in public? Nina Marie, wife of NBA baller Russell Westbrook added her two cents to the cover up conversation when she said,

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Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should
Here’s what I want to know, have we lost our minds? What’s up with women? No one said you couldn’t wear what you want to wear, however, when you wear certain items of clothing and choose to look a certain way, how can you then be mad when you are addressed according to how you are dressed? Why would you dress like something you’re not? Why would you wear a short skirt up to the crack of your behind with a blouse cut down to your belly button with the back out and a pair of six-inch stilettos if you’re not a lady of the night? Just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you should. 

Walk Of No Shame
Men lust after women.  Our bodies are created in such a way that generates lust in men.  Amber Rose, a former stripper, has shown every part of her body to the world.  She celebrates the walk of no shame.  She’s all for a woman walking around naked if she chooses yet she’s upset that people grab her and touch her boobs and butt in public? I’m confused! In her book, What Would Judy Say? Be The Hero Of Your Own Story by Judge Judy Sheindlin, she tells women to use all their assets and in the same breath she says, “I find it disingenuous for women to wear short skirts, high heels, flattering sweaters and then complain because men look at them.”  Me too.  I don’t get it!

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We Are Queens
The way a woman chooses to dress does not give a man the right to address her inappropriately and it definitely does not give him the right to touch her.  Keep your hands to yourself! With that said, the way a woman chooses to dress often times dictates the way she is addressed.  Ladies, we are queens.  Our worth is far above rubies.  If we believe and know this, why would we present anything less? God created us beautifully in his image.  We must realize how we were created, how our bodies are shaped and formed and then honor the gift.  It’s a gift! If Amber Rose wants to be addressed differently, she might want to change the way she chooses to dress.  Just sayin…

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Something to think about…

What say you? Does the way a woman dresses dictate the way she is addressed? Have women stopped being ladies? Does righteous shame need to make a comeback?

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Diane Robertson February 25, 2016

Amber Rose doesn’t seem to believe what she herself is spewing. I’ve come to realize (which has also been scientifically proven) men are visual creatures. Based on their character, mindset and what they want a woman for, women dressed similarly will attract what they give off-repeatedly.
Men on a mission for a wife generally look past the exterior. Therefore the cleveage and well rounded behind is secondary.
I get the whole dressing sexy to feel good about yourself thing Amber mentioned, but if we as women aren’t more than “looking cute”, unfortunately we’ll keep attracting what we sincerely don’t want. Let’s take pride in our appearance but seek to more than a shiny object or throphy Ms. Amber.
As for Meagan Good, hmmm…I could be wrong. I’m certainly not a therapist or expert in that realm by any means but it seems to me as though she’s torn between two worlds. She may need to decide what’s more important, her faith and trusting God with her career or working to remain relevant in her own strength.
As for men, I agree that they can be as distracting too. The brothers with the muscle shirts in church…um…I’m all for the casual environment. It’s so much less of a headache, and fashion show, these days to be able to dress down on Sundays but um…yeah, those toned arms. Just saying. Lol! 😀
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Yvonne Chase February 26, 2016

@Diane,

Men are visual and they always will be; it’s how they were created.

I feel bad for Amber Rose. Seems like she hasn’t been able to shake her stripper image so she’s decided to rock with it even though it’s not working in her favor.

She reminds me of a single woman who wants to be married and hasn’t met anyone so she’s convinced herself she doesn’t want it even though she does. So Amber’s spewing is just to make her feel good about a reality she hasn’t been able to change.

I’m glad I attend a church where men and women still dress like we’re going to church. Dress down churches are not my cup of tea. The men at my church are in full suits or slacks and blazers. The women are dressed in beautiful dresses, with proper fit and hemlines and a prayer cloth if the hemline might be a problem. No distractions for me on that front.

Meagan Good seems to be trying to be a Christian but that’s a conversation for another day.
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Diane Robertson February 29, 2016

I hear ya Yvonne. I feel badly for Amber Rose as well, and others trapped by the lie the devil feeds us that exposing more equals gaining more acceptance.
So many of us are broken for whatever reason, some stemming from ‘Daddy issues’, not being taught any better or given proper examples-a myriad of reasons.
Either way I’m praying for Amber Rose. I pray that the Lord anchors her heart with truth.
Great post once again. Thanks for affecting lives, and provoking us to think.
God bless!
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fashion new Spring summer dress women June 29, 2018

get it on
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