Faith, Questions And My Answers

by Yvonne Chase on February 19, 2016

Dating Outside Of The Christian Faith
Last Friday I attended Relationship Weekend at a church I used to attend.  Saturday’s format was a Q & A where the audience asked and answered questions then the invited pastor gave her take on it.  One question that came up was dating outside of the Christian faith.  The pastor didn’t say no to dating outside of the faith and went on to share about a past relationship with a Muslim. Of course, it didn’t work and she had to deal with the heartbreak when it ended.  All of that could’ve been avoided if she never dated him in the first place.  

Stop Making Your Lives Hard
Christian women, please stop making your lives hard.  Don’t date a man outside of your Christian faith.  You can’t marry a man outside of your faith so why would you date one? Your husband must be submitted to Christ if he’s going to love you as Christ loved the Church and gave himself for it. You want your husband to love you as Christ loved the Church right? How can a Muslim or a Buddhist or a Bahai or any other faith do that when those faiths are not submitted to Christ? 

We Don’t Live In A Perfect World
Another question that came up was sex and intimacy if you never want to be married.  Essentially can you have sex if you never want to be married.  My answer was no,  you can’t have sex.  There’s nothing to discuss.  The Bible is real clear on that matter.  Well, the pastor said, that’s the way it would be in a perfect world but we don’t live in a perfect world. I seriously wanted to ask her what does we don’t live in a perfect world have to do with the price of tea in China.  If you are a believer in Jesus Christ and you read his word the Bible then you know sex is to be enjoyed in marriage only. If God has called you to a life of singleness, he will give you the grace to be okay with all that comes with it including no sex.  

Give Him The Biggest Side Eye
A girlfriend and I were talking about past sexual sin. She’s on a path of celibacy and hopes not to break it.  She broke it in the past after a seven-year journey with a guy she thought was her husband.  I told her she won’t break it again because the man for her, her husband won’t allow it. If you’re dating a Christian guy and he’s leading you to the waters of sexual sin, you ought to give him the biggest side eye and pause.

He Will Take The Lead
Your husband, the man God has for you will want to honor God in that area of your relationship and he will take the lead in making sure it is so.  On a recent episode of The Steve Harvey Show, a 23-year-old Christian girl asked for relationship advice. She and her celibate boyfriend moved in together with a 2-year commitment on the table to marriage. He now wants another two years and is over the celibacy bit.  
Asking For Trouble
Again, don’t make your lives hard Christian single women. Moving in with him is a no-no.  Sleeping in the bed with him night after night as this couple did is a definite no-no.  Proverbs 6:27 asks, “Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned?”  Laying in bed with your man night after night is asking for trouble.  

Not A One
Listen, there were no Christian single men present at Relationship Weekend; not a one! I text a girlfriend and said, looks like we’re all gonna be a bunch of Lesbians for Jesus!  HA! Thank God I didn’t go looking to meet a man otherwise, I would’ve been sorely disappointed. I went to learn and share in this forum.  No matter what church I’ve attended, Christian single men never show up to singles events…never. Why is that? Their absence is not a reason to date outside of your faith or sign for a life of friends with benefits.

God Won’t Disappoint Us
During this season of singleness, it is imperative that you lean in real hard to your relationship with God and that is what I wanted to hear at this event that I didn’t hear enough.  The questions asked were indicative of where many are in their faith.  A while back, I participated in a Bible study geared to single women desiring marriage.  It’s one of the best Bible studies I’d ever attended.  The overall theme of the Bible study was the importance of an intimate relationship with God.  When we deepen our relationship with God, he won’t disappoint us.

Lean In
I can tell you from personal experience that the more I lean into that relationship, the less I think about meeting a mate.  God has a plan for my life that doesn’t change.  As I lean into that relationship, he directs and orders my steps. While it hasn’t happened for me yet, I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God can and will get you to your mate whether it’s through an introduction from a friend (that’s how my friend Sean met his wife), a missions trip (that’s how my church friends Glenn and Linda met), a single’s retreat (that’s how Rose my Sunday School teacher met her husband), Internet dating (that’s how my colleague met her husband) , volunteering (that’s how my neighbor met his wife) or otherwise, however, if you have not leaned into that most important relationship, how will you know what to do? 

Something to think about…

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Linda February 20, 2016

Forty years ago dating so easier. I met my husband at a gas station. He worked filling cars with gas and had a smile for everyone. I liked him right away but was strongly discouraged to not get involved with him because of what he did for a living. Did I listen- NO.

We have a son whom I have prayed and prayed that he would meet someone to love him and bring joy to his life. I now have to give it to God and not ask anymore, I have to believe that with him all things are possible.



Yvonne Chase February 21, 2016


I’m glad you didn’t say no to your husband based on his occupation which is subject to change. What we do is not who we are.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Physical Attraction Is Where It All BeginsMy Profile


Allie H February 20, 2016

Yvonne, I love your blog posts!!! I love reading them and getting encouraged, but sometimes having a good laugh too. You’re a great writer, and I love your messages. Thank you!


Yvonne Chase February 21, 2016

Thanks Allie!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Cover It Up In Jesus NameMy Profile


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