Family Ties

by Yvonne Chase on June 9, 2011

Yesterday I had a conversation with my youngest brother who’s single and mingling about the importance of being aware of family patterns, behaviors and generational curses.  Based on what I’ve seen in my own family and others, we are prone to repeat what we don’t acknowledge.  Later that day,  I checked my mailbox and received Dr. Gary Chapman’s latest book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married and he discusses the exact same things.  Take a look at the video and we’ll talk after…


Family patterns, generational curses and behaviors are real and we have to know this and acknowledge them otherwise we will repeat them.  In his book, Dr. Gary Chapman says, we are both greatly influenced by our parents and the saying like mother, like daughter and like father, like son is not a myth. He goes on to say, in a dating relationship, if either of you has a parent with a destructive lifestyle, the responsible action is to enroll in class, read books, talk to counselors and discuss with each other what you are learning. Don’t sweep these issues under the rug.

Had my now divorced friend and his wife followed this advice, he would still be married.  I’ve said this before and I will say it again, we cannot fix what we will not face and sweeping stuff under the rug never ever works.  All it does is create a big lump that trips you up later.

So, as you’re getting to know that special someone, pay attention to their family dynamic.  If his/her parents are married, check out how they relate to each other.  Are they boisterous? Peaceful? How do they treat each other? Are they mean? Nice?

If parents are divorced, find out why.  If parents are absent, discuss the effects of it and look closely at the relationship each of you has with your parents.   In closing, Dr. Chapman says, make great effort to spend time with the family of your dating partner.  If you should eventually get married, they will be a part of your life for a long time.

Something to think about…

© Copyright 2011-2012, Yvonne Chase. All rights reserved. 

 P.S. Go here to learn more about Dr. Gary Chapman.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Ms. Brigette in Lousisana June 15, 2011

AMEN! How he interacts with his parents, if the parents are still married and if so why and if not, then why…are all apart of my questions to ask.


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