Ladies, Don’t Let Your Girls Keep You Single

by Yvonne Chase on December 19, 2015

Get Her Out Of Here
I’ve never hung out with a gaggle of girls nor have I ever had a best girlfriend.  It’s kinda hard to make that happen when most women approach me with the attitude Tasha had in the movie Why Did I Get Married; “She’s pretty and single…get her out of here.”  I had one woman tell me, “I’m not hanging out with you anymore because you get too much attention.”  Then another woman got mad at me when we went out to dinner and the host paid me one compliment too many. She let me know how mad she was and I never heard from her again.

Independence Is Uber Attractive To Men
When I saw the trailer for the new docuseries #BlackLove,  I wasn’t immediately drawn to it because of the gaggle of girls.  Can’t relate!  I prefer to fly solo this way my light can shine bright and I don’t have to worry about your fears, doubts or insecurities.  I believe a lot of ladies are single because of their gaggle of girls.  Independence is uber attractive to men; at least, that’s been my repeat experience.

What You’re Doing Is, Even More, Attractive
One evening, I was in the neighborhood of a restaurant I visited.  I remembered their delicious crab sliders so I decided to stop in. A gentleman walked in and sat at a table for one.  He ordered a bottle of wine and I remember thinking to myself, he must’ve had a long day if he’s about to suck down a whole bottle of wine.  He noticed me, said hello and gave me a compliment.  He then said, “You’re very attractive and what you’re doing is, even more, attractive.”  I said thanks for the compliment then curiously asked, what am I doing? He said, “Dining alone.  A woman dining alone is very attractive.”  To avoid talking across tables, he asked if he could join me and I said yes because I wanted to hear more about what I was doing without even knowing I was doing something. He introduced himself and continued. Dining alone says,

  • I’m confident
  • I enjoy my own company
  • I’m my own woman
  • I’m courageous
  • I’m fearless
  • I don’t care what you think
  • I’m strong and so much more…

Putting On A Show
“It’s much more attractive than hanging out with a bunch of women. When women hang out in groups like that, they’re putting on a show.  You don’t really get to see the individual.  They’re using each other as a crutch to avoid standing alone.  I’m seeing all of you.  You’re showing me the essence of who you are and I like it.” Who knew!!! And to think, all I was thinking about was enjoying my crab sliders.

Black Men Are Interested In Black Women
We continued to have an enlightening conversation about all things black love.  He shared his desire to only marry a black woman one day and raise black children.  That was SUPER important to him.  Black women, no matter what you saw and heard on national TV, black men are interested in black women.  Talking to him was truly refreshing. Ladies, I can’t begin to tell you how attractive flying solo is to men.  You’ll have to try it for yourself.

Fly Solo
On the recent episode of #BlackLove, newly divorced Cynthia was given the assignment to fly solo.  The thought of it made her cringe.  She walked into a restaurant, took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink.  Her body language and energy said she wasn’t interested.  She didn’t smile, her arm was crossed which says I’m closed off and though she was dressed nice, she looked matronly like she was on her way home from Bible study.  The bartender pointed out a table of men and encouraged her to say hello.  She didn’t.  After calling Monet to get a boost of encouragement, she stuck it out a few more minutes then left.

Leave The Girls At Home
If I had one piece of advice for the ladies on #BlackLove, it would be, leave your girls at home if you want to meet men.   It’s easier for a man to approach you when you’re alone; fewer eyes on him.  One of my black male followers on Twitter agrees and says, “#BlackLove is aka stay single crew! Friends like #Blacklove keep black women single. They get in the hen circle and boost each other up.”

Something to think about…

What say you? Do you prefer to fly solo or with a gaggle of girls? Can your girls be a hindrance to meeting men? Men, do you approach her in spite of her girls or do her girls send you the other way?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

 1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

Shaunda December 25, 2015

I fly solo. I have never liked being with a bunch of women. To many personalities. I had one friend who would always invite other women out to lunch with us and I never knew until we met up. I’m good being by myself.

Yvonne Chase December 25, 2015


Glad to know I’m not the only one…women have been a thorn in my side…
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Communicate, Wear Sexy Panties And Let Him LeadMy Profile

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