Happy In Their Marriage
Sometime last year, I wrote a post asking married people to tell me what they love about being married. I wanted to hear stories of couples that are happy in their marriage. It’s important that single people hear about and see a side of marriage that’s not popular; the happy side.
Marriage Is Hard
I don’t know about you but all I hear day in and day out is marriage is hard. It’s drudgery, gloom and a whole lot of doom and that is why it was refreshing to hear Ali Wentworth share how happy she is in her marriage to George Stephanopholus.
I’m a fan of Ali. She’s a comedian and actress and her husband is an anchor on Good Morning America. They met and were engaged within two months then married a few months later. After their first date, George said, “I knew within 24 hours, I would not ever dare risk losing her.”
Forever And A Day
Ladies if I’ve told you once I’ve told you twice and now I’m telling you a third time just in case you didn’t get it; when a man knows, he knows and he will let you know. You do not need to date him forever and a day.
Dirty Little Secret
In an article titled, When Did A Happy Marriage Become So Taboo? Ali shares what she calls her dirty little secret: “I’ve been happily married to George for 17 years.” She continues with:
Sitcoms depict married life as a bickering couple; he’s usually heavy and not very attractive, and she’s usually too smart and beautiful for him. There’s a lot of eye-rolling. The couple grudgingly put up with each other and a laugh track.
Switch to a cable drama: one of them has murdered the other. The best-selling books and records are always slanted toward relationships gone bad. And how would daytime talk shows survive if we couldn’t trawl for signs of infidelity or enforce paternity tests? It’s embedded in our culture.
The few couples I know with good marriages keep it on the down-low. We meet after dusk at nondescript, out-of-the-way joints. Sometimes Brooklyn, sometimes one of our homes. We close the shades. We make sure nobody sees us holding hands, giggling,or, God forbid, embracing. So until things in our country change, I will have to become masterful at changing the subject and, in some cases, flat out lying about the state of my union.
Happiness They Experience
Spot on! It’s very rare to see happily married couples much less hear a couple speak about the happiness they experience in marriage.
A study was mentioned in an article titled, Please Don’t Hide Your Happy Marriage that revealed, “It’s harder to go public with marital happiness than with marital misery.” The study conducted by University of Minnesota professor Bill Doherty, who directs the Minnesota Couples on the Brink Project says, “The former seems boastful and insensitive to people who are not married or not so happy. The latter, well, that’s being open and vulnerable.” He continues with:
The danger of hiding our happy marriages is that the unhealthy relationships in our culture can begin to drown out the good examples of marriage that are all around us. When the media bombards us with one unhealthy example after another of love gone wrong, and when the majority of people we know complain about their spouses, it can feel like “happy ever after” no longer exists. This can be especially debilitating to the marriage dreams of young people who are fearful of long-term commitment or who don’t have healthy marriage examples in their own families.
No Interest In Marriage
What he said in that entire paragraph is the reason many singles have no interest in marriage. If marriage looks like a picture of perpetual unhappiness, why would anyone sign up for it?
Are You Happy?
I often hear couples brag and boast saying something along the lines of; “We’ve been married 30 years” but when I look at them, all I want to ask is, but are you happy? Is the goal to stay married no matter what or is the goal to stay married till death do us part and be happy while doing it? Can you do both?
Leaves Or Dies
Seems like couples start out happy then the happiness wears thin and they become the sitcom couple who bickers and puts up with each other until one leaves or dies.
We Do Fight
Ali emphasizes, “Talking about being happily married does not mean we have to brag or make it seem like our marriage is flawless or even easy. I said I love my husband, not that our marriage is perfect,” noting that they do fight from time to time. What married couple doesn’t?
Something to think about…
What say you? Are happy marriages taboo? How do you talk about marriage? How do people talk about marriage to you? Do you hide your happy marriage? Is it a dirty little secret?
Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:
1. Leave a comment below
2. Share this post if you like it