Is Six Months Too Soon To Talk Marriage?

by Yvonne Chase on August 21, 2015

Depends On The Couple
That’s the big question around Ciara and Russell Wilson’s budding romance.  Apparently, they’ve applied for a marriage license and Ciara is already living in Seattle.  Like I’ve said before, I wouldn’t be surprised if Russell proposed before the end of the year.  Looks like I might be right.  Back to the question, is six months too soon to talk marriage? Depends on the couple.  If both people know what they want and are both ready and looking for marriage, six months is not too soon to start the conversation.  Talking marriage and getting married are two horses of a different color.

Age Has Nothing To Do With It
Russell is 26 years old and Ciara is 29 years old.  A male colleague who happens to be married and I were talking about their union and he said, “Russell is 26.  Why does he want all of that responsibility? A toddler, baggage from her past relationship? His divorce is recent. He should be focused on his career and meeting women.  He’s too young for all of that.”  I agree with some of that.  Just because you’re a 26-year-old man, doesn’t mean you have to be out and about meeting all kinds of women.  A 26-year-old man can be ready to meet one woman and marry.  Age has nothing to do with it.  He might have a point about taking on the responsibility of a toddler.  That could be a lot to manage but hey, he wants Ciara so he’s got to carry that bag.

six

Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson (3) looks on as his girlfriend, entertainer Ciara Harris, playfully tosses her son, Future, 14 months, in the air after an NFL football training camp Monday, Aug. 3, 2015, in Renton, Wash. (AP Photo/Elaine Thompson)

Russell Wants To Marry Ciara
Let me insert myself into the six months too soon to talk marriage conversation.  For me, the only man I would entertain at this point in my life is one for marriage.  Seems like Ciara is on that track.  He would have to approach me the way Russell approached Ciara.  Russell wants to marry Ciara.  A blind man can see it.  Everything about his actions says he is interested in marriage.  Our courtship would be entirely about getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage.  Their courtship looks like they are solely getting to know each other for the purpose of marriage.  Nothing temporary about it.  I know what I want better yet, I know what God wants for me. God knows me inside and out.  He has a plan for my life. He knows who and what’s best for me.  The man he sends my way will be looking for a wife.  He will have the leadership abilities to court me in that manner.  Russell seems to have those leadership abilities.  I’m mature in my faith.  He will be too.  We will both know what it is and why our paths have crossed.  Seems like Ciara and Russell know what it is and why their paths have crossed.  I wish them the best!

Something to think about…

What say you? Is six months too soon to talk marriage? Is six months too soon to get married?

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel G August 22, 2015

It all depends on the couple and what they want, as you said. Obviously I don’t think 6 months is too short since my husband and I got engaged after 3 months together and married after 8 months together. 🙂 Coincidentally my husband was 26, too, when we got married. It’s not necessarily too young but for some individuals it definitely could be.
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Yvonne Chase August 23, 2015

@Rachel,

Numbers; age and time together, have nothing to do with it. 26 can be too young for some but again, that’s an individual matter.
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Crystal Green August 22, 2015

No, I don’t think it’s too soon to be talking about it. In fact, I think you SHOULD be talking about it by then. My motto has always been, “if I can’t see myself being married to them, then I don’t need to waste my time dating them.” Life is too short for that!
Age definitely has NOTHING to do with being ready for it. It’s far better to marry the person you love when you know than it is to wait and let life’s struggles interfere.
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Yvonne Chase August 23, 2015

Agree 100% Crystal. You definitely SHOULD be talking about it. Your motto is my motto, “If I can’t see myself being married to them, then I don’t need to waste my time dating them.”

Age is just a number. I know 26-year-olds who are more mature than 40-something-year olds. Encouraging a 26-year-old man to meet random women because of his age is a part of our current relationship problem.

Amen to THIS: It’s far better to marry the person you love when you know than it is to wait and let life’s struggles interfere.
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Maria August 23, 2015

I would have to agree with Crystal, here. Numbers–whether its age or how long a couple has been together has no bearings on the strength of a marriage. It’s about working at it and respecting each other along the way. That’s what matters in a relationship, married or not. THAT determines the strength of it. Thanks for such a thought provoking post, Yvonne! So happy to chat with you via SITS girls!
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Yvonne Chase August 24, 2015

Hi Maria,

Very happy to chat with you via SITS. Your input made the chat even better.

THIS: Numbers–whether its age or how long a couple has been together has no bearings on the strength of a marriage.

Younger people get married within a short time frame and last till the end of time. Older people get married within an extended timeframe and divorce quickly. It all depends on the couple. No hard and fast rule here.
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Ezar August 24, 2015

People sometimes wait because there are multiple warning signs that make them reluctant to marry the person. It’s not so much that people wait too long to get married, but that they stay in a relationship that never was built to last.So there’s no set timeframe for how long you should date; it depends on the situation. And the key to making good decisions in any situation is to act wisely, trusting in the wisdom from God’s Word and the godly counsel of people who you’re sharing life with. That said, there’s no magic formula (i.e., one month is always too short and six months is always fine). It’s also true, as a practical matter, that no matter how long a couple dates or how much they know about each other, they will undoubtedly discover things about one another once they get married — both good and bad — that they did not know before. Such is the wonderful adventure of marriage in God’s kind providence to men and women.
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Yvonne Chase August 24, 2015

@Ezar,

People need to remember this: “No matter how long a couple dates or how much they know about each other, they will undoubtedly discover things about one another once they get married — both good and bad — that they did not know before. Such is the wonderful adventure of marriage in God’s kind providence to men and women.” Amen!
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AwesomelyOZ August 24, 2015

I don’t feel 6 months is too soon but it definitely depends on the couple. Hopefully, in Ciara’s case it works out and is for the best. Otherwise, a divorce is a nasty thing. All I know is when couples go into a relationship with baggage from a previous one, without having properly dealt with that initial baggage, bad things ensue over time. Sometimes a rebound is supposed to be just that: a rebound. For me, after one divorce under my belt, I’m not doing anything in 6 months. I prefer to take my time, especially since I too have a son. Hopefully it works out for them but only time will tell. Happy Monday Yvonne! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase August 24, 2015

@Iva,

You make a valid point about baggage from previous relationships. That definitely needs to be sorted out as much as possible before moving forward.
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