Its OK To Wait

by Yvonne Chase on October 23, 2012

Sex and Shacking Up
Today while surfing the web, I landed at Ebony.com where I read an interview with Tamera Mowry-Housley and her sister Tia.  The interview was all about marriage and motherhood.  What stood out to me in the interview were Tameras’ thoughts on sex outside of marriage and shacking up.  That’s Tamera and her hubby Adam in the photo.

Gods Way Not Our Way
When asked why she and her now husband Adam Housley did not live together before marriage and waited until marriage to consummate their union, Tamera said, [In order to know] if we are meant to be together, we said, ‘it’s got to be God’s way and not our way.’ We didn’t want to half-step anything [or have clouded judgment]. So our right way was the way we felt God wanted us to do it which was being celibate. We said to God, ‘This is who we are, I know you take us as we are, our faults, our fears, our joys, our hope as a couple and have your way.’  To me this is the only way to go.  Sex and intimacy cloud our judgment.  Waiting until marriage never killed anybody.  The opposite seems to be killing a lot of folks these days.

Drag Somebody to Church
As the interview continued, she talked about her faith in a way that I talk about mine.   She said, I tried the ‘missionary dating’ [in the past] where you have a person with a great heart who you think is perfect and wonderful except for this one important area that you try to change. That’s unfair to that person. That person needs to be who they are 100%.  And it’s unfair to you.  You don’t want to drag somebody to church with you.   My husband wakes up on Sundays and says ‘Hey, are we going to church today?’ It just makes [waiting] all worthwhile.  

Day, Decisions and Destiny
That’s the kind of man I want…someone that asks, “Darling, what time are we going to church today?” Someone that takes the lead in how we live our faith.  Lord knows I have no intentions of dragging anyone to church with me.  The man for me already goes to church and has his own relationship with God that guides his day, decisions and destiny.  I will not participate in missionary dating for the very reasons she mentioned.  At this stage of the game, he has to know Jesus for himself and be able to teach me a thing or three…not two.

 Why Are You Single Yvonne?
After reading the interview, I was even more settled in my resolve to wait, no matter how long it takes.  People ask me at least ten times a day why I’m single.  Now you know.  I’m waiting on a man that loves the Lord with all his heart and wants to honor him in every area of his life including our premarital relationship.  I meet a lot of men that go to church yet they’re perfectly fine with sex outside of marriage.  Been there done that.

Something to think about…

What say you? Could you wait until marriage? Do you need to live together to be sure? What are your thoughts on celibacy?

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Thandiwe October 24, 2012

I share the same sentiments with Tamera, I once went through the missionary dating which was not worth it at all, I felt bad for breaking up with that good guy, who even cried when I left him, but this article just confirmed that its better to break someone’s heart than God’s heart. Great article that I wish we can talk more about it. 🙂

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