Let’s Talk About Pep – Part 3

by Yvonne Chase on January 26, 2010


Kittie, Kittie, Kittie, why do you act like that? Why did you strip down to your itty bitties, straddle the guy and offer up sex to a man you’re meeting face-to-face for the first time? Why did you do that? And none of your girls saw anything wrong with that…Not one of them pulled her coat and said, “Kittie, you shouldn’t have done that…Not one of them applauded the guy for saying no…Instead they thought he was weird. He didn’t reject you Kittie, he respected you and himself enough to want to get to know you in person the way he got to know you over the phone before having sex. Why can’t you see that? Why were you crying crocodile tears? You made a fool of yourself and set yourself up for rejection. Its not his fault…

OK, I’m a huge fan of Internet dating…huge. The one rule I tell all of my clients who want to Internet date is this: Meet and greet IMMEDIATELTY…not three years later! That’s a no-no. You run a huge risk of not connecting in person and the last thing you want to do is connect on the phone and then there’s nothing there when you meet face-to-face. It happened to a former client of mine. She and her cyberdude talked and talked and had a deep phone connection but according to her, when they met face-to-face, it was like watching paint dry. Kittie’s situation is an example of what you can find on the Internet. As crazy as this may sound, there are people on the Internet who have no intention of ever meeting you face-to-face and that is why they never post a real picture. All they want to do is what Kittie did with Alan; have great phone sex. Sick right! If she didn’t twist his arm to meet her, it might be another three years before they met if they ever met at all. So, if you’re going to Internet date and you’re serious about finding love, remember to meet and greet immediately.

Now on to Jacque…I’m afraid she’s fallen head first into the clock is ticking trap; her eggs are rotting, her eggs are old therefore she needs to find some sperm and have a baby quickly.  She wants to marry and have a baby so badly that she’ll take anybody who says what she wants to hear.  I understand her plight but I need her to relax a little bit. She’s over thirty five and under forty so she’s still got time to meet, greet and have a kid.   Sarah was ninety and Abraham was nearly 100 when they conceived.  I love the fact that Jacque is crystal clear on who she is and what she wants in her life therefore she’s not wasting time with a man who can’t give her what she wants the way she wants it. Good for you Jacque! I say it to my clients all the time, one date is all it takes to know if you want a second date. Speed dating was a great thing to do to get out there in front of men. I love speed dating and have done it quite a bit successfully. It’s a great way to meet lots of men in one night and get lots of mileage out of that cute outfit.

Pep, Pep, Pep will keep meeting the same type of guy with a different name until she changes her presentation.  Every man she’s met so far is Treach with a different name and I think she’s beginning to realize that.  I was so glad she went to the lobby instead of the ninth floor.  Good for you Pep! You did mamma proud this week.

Ladies, remember what Alan said to Kittie, “You can’t open your Christmas gifts before Christmas.”

Talk to you next week!

Anonymous January 28, 2010

Yvonne, I totally agree with the comments regarding the alan and kittie situation. other blogs were trying to insinuate that he was either gay or married.I thought the contrary. I believe that he was actually being a gentlemen. he appeared to have a lot of self control, and most men do not have that. He was meeting her for the first time, and the first subject that Kittie wanted to discuss was sex. That can make anybody uncomfortable, especially if it is their first time meeting face to face. so when he rejected her, i acquired a lot of respect for him. when a man rejects a woman,that does not make him less of a man. Kittie should have known what he was getting himself into. the man has not made any attempts to visit you for three years and you expected him to jump in the sack? The fact that he took so long should have given you the idea that he was just not that into you.

Ask Coach Yvonne January 28, 2010

Unfortunately we’ve been sold a lie from the pit of hell that says if a man isn’t initiating sex with you then he’s not into you. I vaguely remember an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie was practically throwing herself at Aidan and he said something to her along the lines of wanting to wait and really take his time to get to know her and her him. She looked at him as if he was an alien. When I saw that chapter in the book He’s Just Not That Into You…I put it back on the shelf. Its unfortunate that I hear grown men say they are sowing their wild oats because they don’t want to be perceived as gay. Why does a man have to be gay because he doesn’t want to sleep with you or because he’s preserving himself and not sleeping with every skirt that passes his way? The script needs to be rewritten and that is why I blog…

carameldiva07111 January 28, 2010

HI YVONNE, I LOVE THE BLOG!!! ALAN APPEARED TO BE A GREAT CATCH! KITTIE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN THINGS SLOWLY. SHE REALLY MADE HERSELF LOOK BAD BY ASSUMING THAT THIS MAN CAME TO VISIT HER SPECIFICALLY FOR SEX. I DO NOT THINK HE IS GAY. HE HAD RESPECT FOR HER. I ALSO THINK THAT HE WAS NOT INTO HER. NOT BECAUSE HE DID NOT WANT TO SLEEP WITH HER, BUT BECAUSE HE APPEARED UNCOMFORTABLE. I DO NOT THINK HIS AND HER BODY LANGUAGE MESHED WELL.

Lela January 28, 2010

Kittie is too old to be acting like that…like you, I was surprised that none of her girlfriends said anything to her about her behavior. I guess its true, birds of a feather flock together!

Anonymous January 28, 2010

How do you stop meeting the same guy with a different name? I have the Pep syndrome. Every guy I meet is like my ex…Help!

Deborah January 30, 2010

I have been having fun reading your blog. I agree with you about Pep and her friends and their behavior. I came to you via Champain Era (Alan)'s Facebook page. Very interesting reading. I just wanted to say that sometimes we focus too much on our list of wants as black women and not enough on our list of needs. I found somebody special right where he has always been. In the position of my best friend. I am not going to say it is the perfect relationship but at 40 and after years of waiting and hoping it is what I need right now. I have never had this much love and unselfish support from anybody in my entire life and right now it is what I need.

Shelia G February 3, 2010

I've been watching the show and Kittie seems to be the wild one in the group of friends.
Deborah, I read your comment and that's so romantic. We would all be lucky to find someone who gives unselfish support as you described.

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