Random Thoughts: Why Can’t Christian Singles Talk About Sex?

by Yvonne Chase on August 7, 2013

Hot Topics
A few weeks ago while doing my daily web crawl, I ran across a site that had a very active discussion forum for Christian singles.  The variety of topics caught my eye and made me stop in to see what it was all about.  I added my two cents to quite a few hot topics then decided to throw in a couple of my own; credit scores and the first date, and dating with marriage on the mind.  Both topics created a great conversation.

Discussing Sex Is Inappropriate
I decided to keep it going and throw in another topic; sex toys and celibacy.  Well who told me to do that! I was shocked at the responses.  One person said, “Discussing sex is inappropriate.” The next time I came back to the forum to chime in, the thread had been removed.  Since I wanted to know why the thread was removed, I started a new thread titled Let’s Talk About It which was about Christian singles discussing sex.  Is it appropriate? Inappropriate? Why? Why not? Well, that thread was removed as well.  I emailed the leader of the forum to find out why and I’m still waiting on a response.

talk
Gave Me The Stink Eye
That scenario is why I decided to start a Christian Singles Chat on Twitter.  I find it appalling that Christian singles can talk about everything else except sex.  Last week I was in a meeting with some fellow Christians talking about dating and relating and the topic of sex came up.  They avoided using the word like the plague and gave me the stink eye when I used it appropriately.  There’s something very wrong with that if you ask me.

Celibate And Sex Toys
A woman stopped by my blog over the weekend to comment on the celibate and sex toys post and here is what she said, “I’m glad to even just eavesdrop on this conversation. (Is it called eavesdropping if you’re reading a public forum??) Anyways, I grew up in a Christian home and a Christian church and the only people who were willing to talk to me about sex were my teachers and my friends.  So…now I’m a 30-year-old woman who really doesn’t have a fully formed opinion on this topic.  Thanks for raising the question…I really wish I had an answer to contribute.”  Like her, I grew up in a Christian home and a Christian church.  No one was willing to talk to me about sex, dating, mating or relating.

Dating, Mating and Relating
These are all topics I hope to cover weekly at the Christian Singles Chat.  I’ve had a desire to start a chat on Twitter for the longest, however, it didn’t come together until now and I believe the timing is perfect.  I want to open up a forum for Christian singles like this 30-year-old woman to discuss our dating, mating and relating lives in accordance to Gods word and hold each other accountable to his standard while being a light in a very dark world.  The lead question for the first chat is “What does it mean to be celibate” based on my recent post, Are You Really Celibate If You’re Having Sex With Sex Toys?

We Need The Voices Of Single People
As I was writing this post, I found an article that spoke my heart.  Here’s a bit of what it said, “Contrary to popular opinion, single people should not be dependent upon married people to develop a robust theology of sex.  Yes, singles should certainly listen to married couples–otherwise they would be excluding a great majority of teachings from the church.  However, the two greatest Christian teachers of all time were both single and that is a tradition we should continue.  From Jesus and Paul, we know that one does not have to be married to have a godly understanding of sexuality.  In fact, we need the voices of single people if we are to understand sexuality properly.  And we need single people if we are to conduct these conversations in a way that edifies the entire body, not just married people.  Single brothers and sisters, the church needs you.  When it comes to discussions about sex, your voice matters.”  And that is why I’m starting this chat.  Your voice matters!  Follow me on Twitter and get ready to add your voice to a great conversation.

Something to think about…

What say you? Is it inappropriate for Christian singles to talk about sex? Are you uncomfortable talking about sex? Why? Why not?

Here are 3 things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below.

2.  Share this post if you like it.

3.  Join me on Thursday 8/8 at 5pm PST / 8pm EST for the first Christian Singles Chat and use the hashtag #ChristianSinglesChat to have your voice included in the conversation.

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