Does Marriage Ruin Relationships?

by Yvonne Chase on September 6, 2013

During a press junket for the soon to be released movie Baggage Claim, Djimon Honsou, one of the cast members shared his thoughts about marriage.  Press play to hear what he said…

Djimon separated from Kimora Lee Simmons after 5 1/2 years of marriage and together they have one son.  They were married in West Africa but never legalized their marriage in the United States.  Here’s a picture of them in happier times…

ruin

Derek Luke…the guy sharing the couch with Djimon seemed extremely uncomfortable with his commentary.  He’s been happily married to his wife Sophia for 15 years.

ruin

Down With The Swirl
Derek and Djimon are definitely down with the swirl! This post is not about the swirl…let me focus.  OK…People marry for all the wrong reasons then blame marriage.  Marriage is not the problem; you are.  The reality is, you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.  You live together acting like you’re married then get married because its the right thing to do or for some other wrong reason.  Things change as they would because now you’re married.  Marriage changes relationships. 

Blame Marriage And Divorce
Because things didn’t change according to your expectations, you blame marriage and file for divorce. Unfortunately, Djimon is not alone in his thinking.  I believe his thinking is responsible for the reason many aren’t getting married.  Shacking up and having kids out of wedlock has become the norm.  I don’t care what Djimon or anyone else says, HOLY matrimony is still the way to go.

Something to think about…

P.S. Were they ever really married since they never legalized it in the US of A?

What say you? Does marriage ruin relationships? Yes? No? Maybe? Is marriage just a piece of paper? If marriage is just a piece of paper, why don’t more people have that piece of paper? How does that powerless piece of paper ruin a relationship?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Tenns @ New Mama Diaries September 7, 2013

I don’t think marriage ruins relationships at all. I think people begin to put pressure on themselves and their partners once they get married and that causes problems. My husband and I have been married for just over a a year and we treat each other the same as we did before. No unnecessary pressures, no calling the wife or husband card when we disagree, just continuing to respect and love each other. I think the sanctity of marriage has been diminished over the years by the media and people in general just wanting it all. As most find out, the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I think if more people went into marriage really wanting to be married and having a strong foundation for their relationship, then once they’re married the dynamic wouldn’t change so drastically.

Just my two sense! Intriguing post btw!

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

Tenns…You are so right. The sanctity of marriage has been diminished over the years. I believe people today have no clue about marriage and marry for all the wrong reasons. Like you said, they think the grass is greener on the other side and its not. The grass is green where its watered.

Thanks for stopping by.

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Momma O September 7, 2013

I think people ruin their marriages; marriages do not ruin relationships. But yes, marriage does change a relationship – it is now totally committed. But how one views this change is their issue – not marriage itself.

Stopping by from SITSharefest! 🙂

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

@Momma O…I agree 100%. People ruin their marriages. You know what’s so interesting…life changes second by second, minute by minute and hour by hour. Why do people get married and expect it not to change their relationship? That blows my mind! Its supposed to change. How else will grow and evolve as a couple?

Thanks for stopping by from SITS. Love my SITStahs!

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catherine gacad September 7, 2013

i think you said it right. marriage isn’t the problem, you are the problem! marriage is at work and you have to work hard at it. it ain’t no walk in the park.

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

@Catherine…Marriage is a whole lot of work. Even I know that as a never married woman. From observation, many people seem too immature to handle the work and responsibility of marriage. Like you said, it ain’t no walk in the park!

Reply

Britton September 9, 2013

No, I definitely don’t think marriage ruins relationships. It’s the intention of marriage changing things that usually ruins things. Sometimes women get married to men to “change” them, then get dissapointment when they don’t. They fail to realize that it has to be the “man” that wants to change, and marriage won’t make him do that. Also, some men fail to take responsibilities for the actions to what lead to the demise of the relationship. They look for a scapegoat and in too many cases, the sanctity of marriage is what they choose to blame instead of themselves!

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 9, 2013

Britton…men and women seem to want to change each other in marriage. What you see is usually what you get. Like you said, people have to want to change. None of us is that great to make someone change. Only God has that kind of power.

Reply

Mattie September 17, 2013

Hi, I’ve been a lurker around your blog for a few months. I love this article and your entire site! Looking forward to reading more!

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