Could You Marry A Complete Stranger At First Sight?

by Yvonne Chase on July 17, 2014

Over The Dating Game
I’m asking because there’s a new reality show doing just that for singles who are over the dating game and want to try something new.  Married at First Sight matches singles based on the important things that keep a relationship going; personality, background, values, beliefs and goals with the aim of creating a more fulfilling, secure relationship than the person is capable of finding on his or her own.  Its today’s version of an arranged marriage.

first sight

Best Possible Match
Six strangers were matched scientifically with data pulled together by a team of four experts; a sexologist, sociologist, psychologist and spiritual advisor.  Cast members completed extensive personality profiles then the experts used the information obtained to find the best possible match.  The potential spouses know absolutely nothing about each other, not even their names until they meet at the altar.

Tough To Find Guys Who Are Serious
The six cast members chosen are all from the tri state area.  Each of them wanted to meet someone for a meaningful relationship but kept coming up short.   In an interview with the New York Post, one of the cast members, Jamie 27, a labor and delivery nurse had this to say about her decision to join the show, “In New York City, I feel like the guys are primarily just players until they’re hitting their late 30s.  It’s tough to find guys who are serious.”

End Mistakes
Dr. Pepper Schwartz, professor of sociology at the University of Washington and an expert on the show said, “We have the opportunity to match people with a person who complements them, as well as is similar in important ways and perhaps, end the kind of mistakes they might make themselves based heavily on attraction or a misperceived need for a certain kind of person that is really not good for them.”

Worst Mistake Of Her Life
When Jamie met her guy Doug at the altar, she was not attracted to him at all and felt as if she’d made the worst mistake of her life.  Take a look:

Instantly Attracted
Courtney and Jason on the other hand were instantly attracted to each other and learned they have something very important in common.  Like her dad and brother, two of the most important men in her life, her new husband is also a firefighter. The fact that she’s married to a man who daily puts his life on the line for strangers is a quality that melts her heart and made her feel instantly connected.

first sight

Anxiety Attack
Monet and Vaughn were both nervous to the point that she felt like she would pass out.  After the ceremony, she leaned up against the wall and had an anxiety attack.

first sight

I Highly Recommend It
A couple of months ago, I met a young man who married at first sight.  Its what his culture dictates therefore he had no choice.  When I asked him how things were going, he said, “Great!  I highly recommend it. My wife was selected for me based on all the things that truly matter to us plus she’s drop dead gorgeous.  Our parents got it right! Sure there’s a learning curve but so far so great.  I probably would not be married yet if I had to find her on my own.  Too much to choose from!”  One of the experts mentioned that as a reason for the social experiment. Apparently we have too many choices and we’re not making a choice.

Not Making A Choice
We do have a lot of choices and consequently, many of us are not making a choice.  In addition, marriage is not something encouraged today.  Would I sign up for a show like this? Yes and no.  Yes for the reasons Jamie mentioned. Its quite challenging today to meet a serious guy.  Guys are deep into their 40’s and still playing the field.  No because I’d hate to be in her shoes.  Attraction for me has to be there at hello. I need to be able to look at you full on without squinting.  

Something to think about…

What say you? How important are physical and sexual attraction when choosing a mate? Can you become physically attracted to someone or does that need to be there at hello? Are we not making a choice because we have too many options?

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

VV Browne July 17, 2014

If I weren’t a mom I’d do it. When I look back at men I loved or felt deeply for I ask myself what the hell was I thinking! I also love love and being at a point where I feel exhausted in the hunt for Mr. Right it’s be nice to put things in the hands of some experts and see what happens!
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Yvonne Chase July 17, 2014

@VV

Like you, I love love. Going on a journey and building a relationship with an extraordinary person is a beautiful thing. I wish I knew about the casting call. I would say yes to this simply because a team of experts covering all the important bases is on board.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…The Loneliness Is Too Much To Take SometimesMy Profile

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AwesomelyOZ July 17, 2014

Yeah I saw the commercial for this, I was stunned! I mean it’s common practice in a lot of cultures still to this very day.. It seems to work for most but not all. I think it could work for some people, esp if you have a team of experts cross-checking a list and doing it twice with your personality traits and desires. Too many choices is exhausting, esp when women reach an age where their biological clock starts ticking! Have a great one Yulunda! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase July 17, 2014

@Iva,

That’s what’s appealing to me; a team of experts cross checking a list and doing it twice with my personality traits and desires. Too many choices can definitely be exhausted and it can keep you on a never ending hunt for perfection which doesn’t exist.
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Crystal Green July 17, 2014

I have this on my TiVo to watch. I watched the first one and was intrigued to say the least. I feel it can work.
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Yvonne Chase July 19, 2014

Crystal,

I think it can work too. Meeting at the altar for the first time is a bit much so is not knowing each others name. The most appealing part of it all is the team of experts doing the major work.
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Toni @ Finding Myself Young July 19, 2014

I could never marry someone I’d just met. No way. I’ve been divorced already because I married a horrible man so the thought of marriage again in general scares me, but even if that hadn’t happened I still wouldn’t do it. You have to have a connection with someone to marry them.
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Yvonne Chase July 19, 2014

Toni,

You’re absolutely right. You definitely have to have a connection to marry someone. I wonder if that connection can come or does it need to be there at hello?
Yvonne Chase recently posted…The Loneliness Is Too Much To Take SometimesMy Profile

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Crystal July 19, 2014

I think it can work, but only if both people are committed to the process fully. There will be many ups and downs, and unless they are in at 100% then it will fail. I think connections and attraction can grow over time as you get to know a person. I will say my first year of marriage was difficult and I am married to my best friend. I can only imagine how much harder that would have been if we had been strangers just getting to know one another. (And thanks for stopping by the Fulfilled Fridays Link-up!)
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Yvonne Chase July 19, 2014

Crystal,

You said the key words, the couple must be fully committed to the process. The gentleman I met in the arranged marriage said the same. He and his wife are fully committed to the process. The day to day getting to know each other/learning each others ways is where they bump heads but like he said, that’s to be expected. He gets up early, she goes to bed late etc. They won’t be divorcing over it. Together they are learning the art of compromise.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Don’t Accept Crumbs…Bake A New CakeMy Profile

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SuzyKnew! July 20, 2014

I’ve never been married and I’m now a woman “of a certain age.” So, I am to new ideas. I do have friends who because of culture (Indian) have had or are considering arranged marriages. The difference is the expectation and commitment.

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