It saddens me to know the marriage between Meagan Good and Devon Franklin is over. Divorce taints our Christian witness especially when you place yourself on a pedestal as a couple who figured it out and got it right. Below is their joint statement:
“After much prayer and consideration, we have decided to go into our futures separately but forever connected. We celebrate almost a decade of marriage together and a love that is eternal. There’s no one at fault; we believe this is the next best chapter in the evolution of our love. We are incredibly grateful for the life-changing years we’ve spent together as husband and wife. We are also extremely thankful to God for the testimony being created inside us both and for blessing our lives with each other.” Beyond that, Devon says the marriage is irretrievably broken. Yikes!
Why divorce if there is no one at fault and what does, “This is the next best chapter in the evolution of our love” mean? When news of their divorce hit, the overall sentiment was, “Who didn’t see that coming. They are unequally yoked. Meagan changed herself to play a role in his life. Marriage is a scam. If Christians can’t get it right, then who can?” Even non-Christians know how Christians ought to live. If you think the world isn’t watching how we live, I am here to tell you they are watching.
Hearing all the negative commentary about marriage is hurtful because nothing God creates is a scam. Marriage is important yet people do not want to marry because of divorce. According to a large majority, marriage is dead in the water. God created marriage then he left us a Bible with instructions to get it right. A part of getting it right is marrying who he tells us to marry. God tells us who to marry by telling us who not to marry. Two Christian people can be unequally yoked when one is living the lifestyle and the other is wearing a label. Being a Christian is about more than going to church and acting the part.
Nevertheless, their courtship garnered a lot of media attention when they publicly declared they were waiting until marriage. They even wrote a book about their journey titled The Wait: A Powerful Practice for Finding the Love of Your Life and the Life You Love. Instantly, they became the poster couple for how to find love by doing it God’s way. I believe Meagan and Devon should have waited to write the book. Newlyweds should not write books about marriage. Also, how about we change “waiting until marriage” to obeying God? The only reward for obedience is obedience. Not a husband, a great sex life, or a marriage that lasts till death do you part.
I was shocked when they got together. Based on my knowledge of Devon specifically his faith and walk with God, they were not a good match for marriage. Amos 3:3 came to mind nine years ago when they married, and it comes to mind today: “Two people cannot walk together unless they agree.” During their media frenzy of interviews, Meagan said:
“I was never really that girl who said, “I can’t wait to get married,” “I can’t wait to be a mother.” I just was very much a tomboy, and I started my career so young that I’d always been very business oriented. I never really aspired to marriage; I never really aspired to motherhood. I was always very much focused on my career because that’s all I knew my whole life, and it’s what I love.”
When Devon was asked what was on his list that wasn’t manifested in Meagan, he said:
“Oh Jesus! Oh, Man. Actress, drinker, smoker. At the time, she smoked cigarettes, and I ain’t marrying nobody that smokes. Not gonna do it. So, there were some real things on my list. These were things that I was passionate about, but I was more passionate about doing God’s will. And so, I was like, alright Lord. OK. I know you’re in it, so I’m going to sacrifice my commitment to these ideals and accept her and love her, and work on myself.”
Can we stop putting God in spaces where he does not belong and can we stop using his name to justify choices that don’t make sense? Perhaps God was in it to warn Devon to pay attention to his list. Apart from his list, Meagan mentioned she was saved since the age of twelve; however, there was no mention of God or church from her prior to dating Devon and that is why many were surprised they were an item.
It was almost as if she came out of the closet with her faith and took on a new life once they began dating. From the outside looking in, it seems like they both tried to fit a square peg into a round hole; Devon by sacrificing his list and Meagan by changing who she is to accommodate him. A relationship doesn’t stand a chance if both people don’t share the same values. And even then, other factors need to be in place.
Now let’s talk about “The list.” As we move into 2022, you should toss your list if items include, “He must be 6ft, make six figures, manage sizable investment accounts, own a home,” and other superficial criteria; however, you should pay close attention to your list and use it as a weeding out tool if it says, “Believes in monogamy and fidelity, loves and wants to have children and is looking forward to becoming a parent.”
If you know for sure you want children and the other person is unsure, that’s not your person. Marrying with the hopes that you will end up on the same page is too big of a risk. What will you do if they never get on board? There are 7 billion people on the planet. Save yourself the heartache of a failed relationship and wait to meet someone in alignment.
Finally, using your list of non-negotiables aka dealbreakers correctly saves you the trouble of entering a relationship that will not work long term. That is the purpose of your list. Also, it is important to remember that items on your list are characteristics of the relationship you hope to create and not traits of the person. You do not need to change your personality to have a successful relationship. In closing, I was not in their marriage; therefore, I have no idea why it came to an end, but here’s what I know for sure, the divorce rate would plummet if some people never married. No matter how much two people love each other and no matter how hard they try to make the relationship work, it will not work if you negotiate non-negotiables and make a deal with dealbreakers.
Something to think about…
What say you? Does divorce taint our Christian witness? Is marriage dead in the water? How do you feel when you hear, “Marriage is a scam?”
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