The Most Important Issue In Living Single And Marriage Is…
July 24, 2017 Living Single

The Most Important Issue In Marriage
An email titled The Most Important Issue in Marriage landed in my inbox this weekend. Of course, I opened it immediately. I wanted to know what this most important issue is. Don’t you want to know? 

Most Important Issue In Life
Even though I’m unmarried, I’ve always believed this to be THE most important issue in marriage. It’s actually the most important issue in life whether single or married. This issue is the only reason I’ve been able to thrive in this season. I believe if we focus on this while we’re single and we keep it first place in our lives, we will be set for the journey of marriage if and when that happens for us.

The Most Important Issue In Living Single
So, what’s the most important issue in marriage? According to Jimmy Evans of Marriage Today Ministries, the most important issue in marriage is a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Wouldn’t you agree that is also the most important issue in living single?

Well And Intact
After all, we are single before we marry, therefore, it’s super important to have this relationship well and intact before we even think about walking down the aisle. I don’t think you can make the best decision about who to marry apart from this relationship. Here’s what he says specifically:

Your relationship with Jesus impacts your marriage and your life more profoundly than anything else.Why? Because each of us goes through life trying to meet our basic needs for acceptance, identity, security, and purpose. Either we try to get those needs met by a person—in which case that person will always let us down—or we rely upon God to meet those needs. Only God can fill that void in our lives. Money won’t meet our basic needs. Work or success won’t meet them. Pleasure won’t meet them. And the “perfect” husband or wife will not meet them. Those will fail, but God’s love never fails.

Meet His Basic Needs
Over the weekend I met up with a friend. The one thing I want for him more than anything else is a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s painful to watch him try to meet his basic needs for acceptance, identity, security, and purpose through the amount of money he makes, the work he does, the never ending amount of self-help courses he takes, where he lives, what he drives and all the external trappings of life. Everything he does in his life is to meet his basic needs. He comes up short every single time.

Desperately Trying To Fill A Void
I would be like my friend apart from my personal relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s the world we live in today. Everyone, apart from this most important issue/relationship, is flitting around doing this and that desperately trying to fill a void that only God can fill.

The Foundation Of My Identity
My relationship with Jesus Christ and His word are where I get all of my identity. It is why I am able to stand strong in who I am. 1 Peter 2:9 is a favorite verse that is the foundation of my identity. 


Ephesians 1:4 is another powerful verse that says, “Just as [in His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight. In love.”

God Chose Me
My life has a purpose and true meaning because God chose me. Those two verses along with so many others fill my need for acceptance, identity, security, and purpose. How much better off would we be in our single lives if we really embraced this?

I Know How To Choose
When we depend on God to meet our basic needs, we let others off the hook and we can now enjoy great relationships. When we depend on others to meet our needs, we destroy every earthly relationship. People were not created to meet our basic needs. Knowing this in our single lives and operating from this place helps us make wise choices. Because I was chosen by God, I know how to choose.

Dysfunctional And Headed For Divorce
If we learn to depend on Jesus in our single lives, we will know to depend on him in marriage. Jimmy often talks about how difficult his marriage was to his wife Karen in the early years because they were both depending on each other instead of depending on Jesus. He says their marriage was dysfunctional and headed for divorce. It behooves us to get this relationship right before we seek out a mate. 

Something to think about…

Who/what are you depending on to meet your basic needs? What do you believe is the most important issue in living single and marriage? How would your single life/married life be different if you knew God chose you and lived like it?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

"9" Comments
  1. It is so easy to look to your spouse to fulfill you, even as a Christian. I have to constantly remind myself that we are two fallen people who need Jesus every day. Thanks for posting! Visiting from #raralinkup
    Adrienne Terrebonne recently posted…Are You A Prepared Parent?My Profile

  2. Thank you for sharing. We are approaching our 30th anniversary this year! We celebrate with thanksgiving that God has brought us through many challenges in our 30 years. He has always been there for us and continues to bless our marriage, home, and family. God is good!

  3. @Robin,

    Congratulations on thirty years of marriage. God is faithful. Continue to trust him and keep him at the center. Here’s to thirty more.

    God bless you…
    Yvonne Chase recently posted…Hard Conversations Today Make Life Easy TodayMy Profile

  4. Good point! I agree: the most important issue in marriage is indeed the most important issue in singleness too. Regardless of our relationship status with others, our relationship with Jesus is what matters the most!
    Lisa notes recently posted…4 Books I Recommend – July 2017My Profile

  5. I agree. Not only is a personal relationship the most important issue in marriage… it’s the most important issue in singleness, finances, communication, workplace dynamics, child rearing, and basically anything else you can think of!
    Karen Woodall recently posted…Harvest TimeMy Profile

  6. I agree the most important thing in a marriage is your relationship with Jesus. It breaks my heart when people don’t have him in their lives or think they can postpone a relationship with him when they are older and married. Great post!
    Maree Dee recently posted…Do You Listen To God’s Whispers?My Profile

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