Women Get On My Last Nerve

by Yvonne Chase on October 22, 2018

Last Nerve
Actually, women don’t get on my last nerve, I’m a champion of women and know we can accomplish so much more together than we can apart, however, after reading this post you will hopefully understand the title.


People Listen To You
Okay, this post came about after I got kicked out of the Be Transformed class I mentioned in this post. I was asked not to return for the following reasons:

  • You share as if you are the teacher of the class.
  • You don’t use “I” statements (I feel, I believe, I think etc.) when you share. That’s the rule and you don’t follow it.
  • You’re very smart. When you share, people listen to you.

Escorted Out
Yes, that happened, at my church by the way. We meet at church not in someone’s home in a small group of ten women at a roundtable. I was escorted out of the class in front of everyone by the two teachers who are women. The foundation of the class is working through a weekly chapter and sharing our experiences as they relate to the lesson. Sharing is an important part of the class. 

The Hypocrisy Of It All
How dare anyone kick someone out of Bible class and especially for the reasons above? The nerve! Can any of you see the hypocrisy of it all? They don’t use “I” statements either. If they did, then their reasons would read like this: 

  • I feel inadequate as a teacher when you speak/share.
  • I’m a hypocrite because I don’t use “I” statements either.
  • I don’t like it that the class listens to you as if you’re the teacher.
  • I wish I had your level of confidence, authority, and presence.

Change Their Hearts
I’ve been dealing with this my entire life from sisters, cousins, in-laws etc and I’m sick of it. It’s the reason I stay away from certain women. We really need to stop projecting our mess onto each other. Instead of kicking me out, they need to get on their faces before God and ask him to change their hearts.

One Of A Kind
How I speak is how I speak. We’re sitting at a round table discussing and sharing. I wasn’t rude, disrespectful, obscene or profane. My voice is strong. It’s powerful and so is my presence. As my former college classmate says:

Yvonne Chase…what can you say, she walks in a room and the energy changes. She has a magnetism that is rare. Her charisma makes it easy for her to befriend people and it’s also that same quality that allows her to be confided in. She’s definitely one of a kind…

Petty Behavior
The solution to this petty behavior is knowing who you are in God. Believing what he says about you. Delighting in how he knit you together in your mother’s womb and not hating on another woman because she ruffles your insecure feathers. Comparing, competing and cutting off are behaviors women need to stop. There’s more than enough room for all of us to be who God created us to be and called us to be. We don’t need to cut another woman out so we can shine. If you do, there’s something not right in you. 

nerve

A God Of Unity
Furthermore, there is no room for this kind of behavior in the body of Christ especially at a time when our world is so divided and we, the church, are supposed to be the example. God is a God of unity, not division and strife. When we cut out parts of the body, it malfunctions. The women in that class had something to offer me and I had something to offer them. Unfortunately, we won’t receive it because I was cut out of the equation. 

Be Transformed
Here’s the irony of it all; the purpose of Be Transformed is to examine our belief systems before we were Christians to see how they are skewed and bring them into alignment with the word of God which leads us to the truth. Based on all that transpired, there needs to be more examination of the lies these women choose to believe about themselves and other women before they teach this class, I mean they knew nothing about me and never got to know me yet they asked me to leave. Shame on them and shame on you if you as a woman treat other women in this way. 

nerve
Something to think about…

What say you? Have you ever been guilty of treating a woman in this way? Do women get on your last nerve? What do you believe is at the root of this kind of ugly behavior in women? How do we make it stop?

Here are 2 things I’d like to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Trina Taylor October 22, 2018

Women can be so incredibly messy. I’m glad you were able to see this for what it really is; they feel inadequate so you have to go. Sad! And we wonder why people don’t go to church. Sorry you had this experience.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 23, 2018

@Trina,

I’m still waiting for Ashton Kutcher to come around the corner to tell me I’ve been punked I mean who asks someone to leave a Bible class held at church?
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Is Like A Box Of ChocolatesMy Profile

Reply

Laurie October 23, 2018

I have never heard of being kicked out of a class at church before. It’s sad and funny at the same time! Something you can brag about to your grandkids! 🙂

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 23, 2018

@Laurie,

It’s sad and you’re right, it’s funny too. No grandchildren to share this with, however, I will tell every woman I know not to ever behave in such an ugly way because it says more about her than it ever will about the woman/women she’s projecting onto.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Making Out Is A Bad Idea Even Though It’s Not CondemnedMy Profile

Reply

Lauren Sparks October 23, 2018

I confess I have been struggling with jealousy of other women. I hope it would never get so bad that I would exclude someone all together, but God is working on me. laurensparks.net

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 23, 2018

@Lauren,

It takes courage to admit our areas of weakness. You’ve taken the first step and now God will come alongside you to help you overcome it all.

Blessings to you.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Oneness And Singleness Go Together Like Oil And WaterMy Profile

Reply

Kathleen Bailey October 23, 2018

Wow that’s crazy. How dare you help teach others in a class meant for teaching! (sarcasm). People in general get on my nerves a lot, it’s why I’m a loner.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 23, 2018

@Kathleen,

Right! How dare I? People are a literal mess; even us Christians. Lots of loners in the world today because of how messy we are with each other.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Father Figures Figure Into Who We Date And MarryMy Profile

Reply

Michele Morin October 23, 2018

This makes me incredibly sad.
I’d advise you to “tone it down” if it weren’t so obviously NOT your fault. I’ve taught a good many classes attended by people who are more charismatic, verbose, and knowledgeable than I am, and every time, I get to learn from them AND also gain experience in the skill of reigning the conversation in to keep it on topic.
These women are missing out on a blessing.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 26, 2018

@Michele,

You’re a wise woman. We can all learn from each other. That’s what being a part of the family of God is all about.

Here’s the thing, I wasn’t even off topic. The fact that other women in the group connected with me and took interest in what I shared was the issue. How dare they? Incredibly sad!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Father Figures Figure Into Who We Date And MarryMy Profile

Reply

Katrina Hamel October 24, 2018

Wow. I’ve never heard of something like that happening before! I would have walked out with you!
I wonder how the conversation went after you were showed the door, were the other women afraid to speak in case they were kicked out too?
What a terrible example these women set.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Katrina,

They weren’t afraid to speak because they knew they wouldn’t be kicked out, you see, they fit the mold of what makes the teacher comfortable so they get to stay. That’s the way that works!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Lisa notes October 24, 2018

I’m sorry you had that experience, Yvonne. A strong woman isn’t always appreciated like she should be. Keep being you!

Reply

Horace Williams Jr October 25, 2018

Sorry you had to experience that. It sounds like you handled things with grace.

Reply

Kris Mays October 25, 2018

Oh, my! The things people do! They just can’t handle a strong and intelligent woman.
I’d turn right around and offer a Bible Study in my home, after reconsidering my church membership.
LOL

Visiting you today via Debbie Kitterman and #tuneinthursday

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Kris,

For the first time in my life, I’m actually reconsidering church membership. I’ve been a part of my church for a long time. This saga made me see why the women in my church are the way they are; not all of them but a large amount.

If this type of woman is leading small groups then her way of being is not only transferred to the women who stayed in that group but to future groups which then spreads throughout the church like a bad virus.

I’m actually turned off by many of the women in my church. They have a false sense of humility which makes them weak, lacking confidence and deeply insecure.

Humility is not denying who you are in God and what he put in you; your unique gifts, talents, abilities, and way of being. Instead, it’s acknowledging that none of it would exist apart from God. They’ve got it all wrong and are not interested in hearing the truth from a woman like me because I don’t fit their weak mold.

New church hunt starts in 3, 2, 1…
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Sandra Black October 25, 2018

Last year some people tried to get my husband and I thrown out of our church. Why because we stood up for the truth and did not want our church to be dishonest. Who were behind it? A couple of women.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Sandra,

SMH at women. We really need to stop this bad behavior. Glad they weren’t successful in throwing you out.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Rebekah Beene October 26, 2018

Oh boy, ESCORTED OUT? Like a thief caught with something in their pocket? Like a troublemaker who threw garbage on the stage? Like one who picked a fight and needed to be kicked out?

God, we need You to come into our homes, our churches, our small groups, our Bible studies and become Lord of every life. You are a Life Changer, a Transformer of Humanity and most of all you are LOVE.

Thank you for loving each one of us and giving us a place to call home in Your Heart.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Rebekah,

Thank you for this prayer. I need it. What happened at church also happened in my family. Could you imagine the cops being called to escort you out of your home all while your parents sat and allowed it? Yea, that happened.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Lee Ann Lenfest October 26, 2018

My answers to your questions:

Yes, women have gotten on my last nerves; but, not for reasons you mentioned. Typically, the ones that do are either blatantly dishonest or always happy. I don’t understand them. How can anyone be always smiling happy 24/7? Also, a few extroverted ones have driven me batty because they walk all over me, the introvert. It drains me.

I honestly think the root of the kind of behavior you mentioned is insecurity and lack of self-confidence and understanding (of different personalities). Add a mixture of envy or jealousy and you’d have a person that could potentially be like a bully. I say “potentially” because not everyone with these issues is like this.

As far as I’m concerned, you cannot make it stop. People will be people. Only God can change their hearts and behavior.

I’m saddened this happened to you. This is the first time I’ve heard of anything like this happening in a church. I don’t think I could live with it. And, if I witnessed such an event, I think I would have quietly gotten up and left. And oh, sharing in a group is not my cup of tea as I am a deaf introvert with social anxiety. If I was forced to speak (share), I would not return.

Visiting from FMF, your neighbor.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Lee Ann,

You’re right about jealousy and envy as the Bible says, where there’s jealousy and envy, there is wickedness and every evil work.

P.S. Happiness all the time is usually a mask for something else.

We’re definitely cut from the same cloth. No way would I sit and watch someone escorted out of a small group Bible class. Like you, I would’ve walked out too.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Broken Children Living in Adult Bodies Create Broken RelationshipsMy Profile

Reply

Mary Geisen October 26, 2018

Wow! Your story makes my heart hurt for you and the other women in your class. You hit on the truth when you shared that the solution is in knowing who you are in God. Identity is key in our lives and when we claim who God says we are that is our foundation.

Reply

Yvonne Chase October 27, 2018

@Mary,

Until we know who we are in God, this kind of ugly behavior amongst women will continue. It’s sad!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Kathy Catcher October 26, 2018

I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t been wounded in a church. We need to examine our hearts to see where we are out of line with God’s word, as individuals and as a body.

Reply

a spirit of simplicity October 27, 2018

I work with 25 women at a child care center. Most of them are younger than I am and many are quite young…just in their early 20s. Believe me when I tell you that women can get on my last nerve. Also, I learn a lot about myself through them. I see their angst, anger, joy and drama and I realize that I have already been through that and I am more confidant and experienced now. I know that I like who I am now.

Reply

Yvonne Chase November 4, 2018

@a spirit of simplicity,

It’s a beautiful thing when we arrive at the place of liking who we are.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Jessica @ Overwhelmed to Fulfilled November 2, 2018

This is terrible. I can’t believe they put you on public display like that! Your evaluation of the events seems pretty accurate. I wonder though…why didn’t they bring these “concerns” to you privately? I think the big take away here is what you said God is a God of unity. We lift up our brothers and sisters. We stand firm in our Identity in Christ. I’m sorry you experienced this.

Reply

Yvonne Chase November 4, 2018

@Jessica,

It’s all unbelievable. I’d really like to know what Bible they’re reading and what Holy Spirit they’re filled with that told them any part of this was okay.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Women Get On My Last NerveMy Profile

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: