It’s A New Day, A New Year And A New Me!
January 1, 2021 Narcissistic Abuse

Today I woke up with the song It’s A New Day by Patti LaBelle on my mind. You can read the lyrics below. Of course, I’m doing things God’s way. That’s the only lyric I would change. Doing things God’s way is what got me through 2020.

Seems my life
Is finally coming together
Feels so good
Don't think I've ever been better
It's clear to me
My future will bring
The peace I've been living for will be mine
It's a new day
Open my eyes and the path is clearer
It's a new day
Pushin' ahead til my goal is nearer
It's a new day
Spread my wings
I'm doin' things my way
It's a new day
Made the same mistakes
Over and again
Now it's time
For the illusion to end
For every door that shuts
Another opens
Takin' a chance I'm gonna win
Can't go back where I've been
I'm excited for the things ahead of me
I decided I can make it on my own
Embrace the good and bad
And let go of the past
I'm loving what's inside of me
Patti Labelle – New Day

As I look back on 2020, it was a great year; one of the best years of my life because it was the culmination of breaking generational curses. I’ve written extensively about this topic specifically knowing what they are and how they show up in your life. That’s the first step. We can’t fix what we don’t face, and we can’t change something if we don’t know it exists.

After listening to Patti LaBelle, I saw a video from the talk show The Real Daytime about the fallout between Janet Hubert aka dark-skinned Aunt Viv, and Will Smith of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Their professional and subsequent friendship was ruined when Janet was fired from the hit TV show. Will went on to be a major star and Janet’s career went down the toilet. You can watch that video below:

Here’s what I want to say about that: when it comes to forgiveness, a topic that’s heavily discussed at the beginning of a new year; there are two sides to that coin. One side says life is short and people are dying like flies therefore we just need to go ahead and forgive. As Ebony said, “In the era of COVID…people are dropping…they’re not coming back and you never know the minute or the hour that you could be taken so I think it’s important to say how you feel, get it off your chest, and move forward.”

Well, I want to flip that to say, in the era of COVID…people are dropping…they’re not coming back and you never know the minute or the hour that you could be taken so I think it’s important to be intentional about treating each other well as we move forward. How about that? Is that an option or not?

In 2021, I want us to normalize not guilting people into forgiving others and shift our focus to treating each other well. Stop intentionally mistreating others and then guilting them into forgiving you once they’ve decided to move on without you.  


As Adrienne said in the video, forgiveness is for me. I can forgive you and decide to move forward without you. Reconciliation is not automatic. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are living in unforgiveness because you’ve closed the door on certain relationships. One has nothing to do with the other. Reconciliation and forgiveness do not go hand in hand.

It’s great that Janet and Will got a chance to sit down and talk. I don’t believe that talk would’ve happened if both parties didn’t see growth and change in each other. As Janet said in the video, “I didn’t come here to have animosity. I came here to resolve cause it’s time.” That’s growth. Also, a highly-skilled therapist helped facilitate the conversation. Press play to watch the video below…
Will Smith and Janet Hubert

So, if there’s a wedge between you and someone and you want to mend it, make sure you see growth and change in their behavior otherwise you could be setting yourself up for more hurt. We don’t have time for more hurt in 2021.

Okay, enough of that heavy stuff and onto a lighthearted question; is your Christmas tree still up? If yes, when do you take it down? I’ve decided mine will stay up until it falls down or when I feel like taking it down. It still looks great and I still smile every time I walk past it. P.S. Wouldn’t it be crazy if it was still standing on December 25th? 🤣🤣

I posed that question to my Tweeps (Twitter People) and here’s what some said:

Yes. I’ll take it down when I can no longer stand that it’s up.  That could be in a few days or a few weeks. Not sure yet.
Still up and scared to take it down. Last time I took it down, 2020 decided to get all sorts of shady. Call me a skeptic, but that ish is stayin up until I know what 2021 has up her sleeve. 🤣🤣
Taking mine down TODAY! And I’m READY! Lol

Well, that’s all I got for now. In closing, I leave you with words from today’s devotional by Joyce Meyer: “Instead of wondering, How am I going to get everything done? How am I going to figure this problem out? Ask God for his help, strength, and guidance. Trust Him to be your source.” He was my one and only reliable source in 2020 and he will remain my source in 2021 and beyond.


Something to think about…

What say you? Is your tree still up? When will you take it down? What are your thoughts on forgiveness? Share anything else you’d like in the comments.

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

"41" Comments
  1. What a great post. Now to watch the videos!

    Be kind is a great way to start this year.

    My tree is down. I usually take it down on New Years Day. I have to say it was A year I really enjoyed taking down the decorations. Usually, I’m in a rush, but this year I turned on a little music and soaked in the experience.

    Thank you for sharing with Grace and Truth. I am so glad you are a part of our community.
    Maree Dee recently posted…The Most Popular Post in December 2020 | Grace & Truth Link-UpMy Profile

    • @Maree,

      I love the way you took down your tree. We can enjoy every experience when we decide to do so. I’ve been collecting boxes to store all the ornaments and my friend Jennifer who helped me put it up is coming over to help me. And yes, there will be music playing as we soak in the experience.
      Yvonne Chase recently posted…It’s A New Day, A New Year And A New Me!My Profile

  2. Love this post. Great song lyrics. Living legend Patti Labelle never disappoints.

    And yes to treating others well because we don’t know the day, time, or the hour. That’s a much better focus than trying to clean up a mess. Just be kind.

    My tree was out the front door on New Year’s day. You really are doing things your way by keeping yours up indefinitely huh? I love it.

    Happy New Year Yvonne.

  3. I like the distinction you make between forgiveness and reconciliation, Yvonne. Makes so much sense to me. I’m ready to forgive in a particular relationship, but not ready to connect again right now, especially when earlier attempts have resulted in my being hurt again!
    Corinne Rodrigues recently posted…Word of the Year: 2021 A Year of YesMy Profile

  4. Wonderful post, Yvonne. I think you are right – we need to stop trying to guilt people into saying they forgive. That is not true forgiveness. There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness must come before reconciliation. When you hold onto old grudges, both people involved suffer.

    And now the Patti LaBelle song is stuck in my head! 🙂
    Laurie recently posted…Love Is Hard. Hate Is Simple.My Profile

    • @Laurie.

      I think it’s a great song to be stuck in your head. Hope you like it as much as I love it. I play it almost every day. Corinne said it well in her comment; she’s ready to forgive. I believe readiness offers true and sincere forgiveness from the heart otherwise it might just be lip service.
      Yvonne Chase recently posted…It’s A New Day, A New Year And A New Me!My Profile

  5. I always get a little boost and some food for thought here, Yvonne, and my tree is still standing. We enjoyed the lights last night and maybe that was our goodbye, because I hope to start dismantling it today.

  6. Happy New Year! I’m glad to hear that 2020 was so good for you and that you have started 2021 feeling so positive!
    I took my tree down yesterday.
    I agree, there’s a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and it would be better if we could all just try to treat one another well in the first place!
    Lesley recently posted…One Word 2021My Profile

  7. so good to hear that your 2020 was great. may the greatness and blessings continues this 2021. Happiest New year to you

  8. Great post, Yvonne, forgiveness is often a misunderstood topic. it IS about me; so I can move on, but reconciliation is another story. Once you have that straight you can move on in freedom. I couldn’t agree more with the “let’s treat each other well” thought you shared. You know if we did that more, we would all be happier, healthier and more whole.
    And YES my Christmas tree is still up! I have no hard & fast rules about taking it down. It stays up most of January, though one year it was up until the end of February! I’m a free spirit, usually I wake up one day and I know “it’s time.” other than that, my people know not to harass me about my tree!!

  9. love your perspective, especially your words on forgiveness. you are such a fun light online!

  10. I’ve been so behind in reading blogs but I’m happy to finally get around to yours tonight, Yvonne! You speak truth: “Don’t let anyone make you feel like you are living in unforgiveness because you’ve closed the door on certain relationships. One has nothing to do with the other. Reconciliation and forgiveness do not go hand in hand.” I’ve made that mistake in the past with an ex. I felt guilted into taking him back after his indiscretion when I should have just forgiven him and moved PAST him, not back to him.

    We took down our Christmas tree last night. I wasn’t ready until then. And then, boom, I wanted it down immediately. ha. I’ll catch up with you soon on other things!!! Always good to hear from you. I appreciate your friendship and prayers.

  11. Yvonne, you give much food for thought in this post. Have we sincerely forgiven if we have been made to feel guilty about forgiveness? Why do we think that forgiveness and reconciliation must go hand in hand? We can forgive and not step back into a relationship which would only seek to entangle us into unhealthy patterns.

    My tree is down but I admit – I am missing the soft glow of its lights some nights 🙂

    Happy New Year, Yvonne!
    Joanne Viola recently posted…Let’s Have CoffeeMy Profile

  12. I was quick to take my tree down this year! I just needed things to feel simpler. Maybe I’m always that way.
    Happy New Year
    Rebecca Hastings recently posted…Why I Was Adopted at 26My Profile

  13. Yes, yes, Yvonne! Let’s treat each other well, let’s extend kindness, let’s smile under our masks.

    Time could be short. I don’t want to have any regrets.

    Thanks for taking us here this week.
    Linda Stoll recently posted…Yay!! Book Club Launches On Sunday Evening!!My Profile

  14. I was so encouraged that this high profile reunion was publicized. A great example for us all. And my tree is still up. I have an artificial one, but I have taken down the Christmas ornaments and replaced it with with heart ornaments because my anniversary is this month and Valentines in Feb. Then I take it down. (I also put it up in November and decorate it for fall).
    Lauren Renee Sparks recently posted…One Minute… Makes a Big Difference!My Profile

  15. Yvonne, I always come away from your posts encouraged and challenged, and today’s was no exception. I appreciated Ebony’s insight but LOVED how you flipped it … each of us as individuals needs to be intentional about treating others well–nobody else can make us do it or make us want to do it. As for the Christmas tree … we took ours down on New Year’s Day because it was just getting too dried out to keep it up any longer. It left the biggest trail of needles I’ve ever seen as my husband dragged it out the door, but having it up so long was totally worth it. Happy New Year to you … I look forward to read how God works in your life in 2021!
    Lois Flowers recently posted…New Year, New Name, New WordMy Profile

  16. Yvonne, I loved this post. I’m coming back a little later to watch the videos. Yes and amen to all you said about forgiveness and reconciliation. Forgiveness is definitely between us and God. And, at least for me, it an intentional choice I have to make over and over in some situations. And sometimes, reconciliation isn’t possible because it isn’t safe. Great post to start off the new year!

    BTW, I love that your tree is still up! We actually haven’t put one up in a few years because we’ve traveled to see family for Christmas. I look forward to the time when I get to put one up again and decorate the house. 🙂
    Jeanne Takenaka recently posted…2021: Focusing on One WordMy Profile

  17. Yes, my tree is still up. Not sure when it is coming down. Usually I take it down right away, but this year … somehow it needed to stay awhile.

    I also appreciated your take on forgiveness and reconciliation; and how much better it is to just treat people well in the first place!
    Jerralea recently posted…Hello, 2021!My Profile

  18. YES! Here’s to remembering that OF COURSE we need to forgive. That’s on us. But reconciliation is not automatic; it requires the participation of both parties. We must do our part, but we cannot coerce others into doing their part.

    Thank God we’ve been forgiven; what an example has been set for us. May we now take the power that God gives us so freely and use it to live like we should, treating one another as precious image-bearers of God.

    God bless you this new year and always!
    Richella J Parham recently posted…New Year, Same Old Need for Grace (and the Grace at Home party)My Profile

  19. Great insight on forgiveness and reconciliation. Thanks for sharing, and happy New Year Yvonne!

  20. We were out of town for the holidays, so didn’t put up a Christmas tree ;). Treating people with dignity and respect ALL the time helps keep me keep from building up a backlog of regrets.
    Anita Ojeda recently posted…Do You Need to Add Reconciliation to Your Spiritual Goals List?My Profile

  21. Loved this post, I believe that it depends on how far you can take a grudge. It’s ok to move away from a person if you can’t come to a mutual resolution. I still feel sad for Janet and I feel a grudge in her defence. The fresh prince was never the same without her. However, super sad that her career suffered so badly x x #mischiefandmemories

  22. Hello Yvonne, I feel that a new year is a like a new day. There is always a chance to start over. I will fall on the side of forgiveness. And yes, my tree is still up. I need the light in these short, dark days!

  23. Yvonne,

    Wow – talk about being spot on! Thank you for posting these thoughts with us. They are definitely needed in today’s times.

    Your points of ‘generational curses’ are spot on. I have had conversations with my sister many times about the generational curses of our family. Being the family genealogist, I have shaken my head more times than not at things I have uncovered. When I bring them to light, I get the shrugs, the I don’t know, leave it alone, etc. I for one – – know first hand what the generational curses are because I am a product of them…learning how to forgive and have reconciliation has been something I learned at a very young age ONLY because of God, the Father. I live, walk and talk Him 24/7…it’s the only way I have survived.

    I look forward to following your blog moving forward and reading other posts you have out there.

    Heart to Heart Soul Creations (h2hsc2020)

  24. Your perspective on forgiveness is interesting. I like the idea of making sure their behavior has changed for the better. Happy new year! Terri
    Terri Lyon recently posted…What Kind Of Social Change Agent Are You?My Profile

  25. It’s A New Day… what a perfect way to start off a blog post with that beautiful song. Thank you. I love your way of thinking and absolutely agree that we should be thinking about the way we treat people moving forwards into 2021. Wishing you a very Happy New Year and thank you for joining us for the first ever #MischiefAndMemories linky.
    Annette, 3 Little Buttons recently posted…#MischiefAndMemories – 3rd January 2021My Profile

  26. Brilliant thoughtful start to 2021. So many opportunities ahead of us if we free the past. Thanks for linking up with #MischiefAndMemories. Please make sure you have our badge on your linked up post or in the sidebar / footer of your blog

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