Single, Not Dating, Not Worried

by Yvonne Chase on June 17, 2013

Why You’re Not Dating
Over the weekend, I read an article that offered a variety of reasons why you’re not dating.   Some of the reasons were:

  • You’re lazy
  • You’re scared
  • You don’t want it badly enough
  • You make excuses
  • You’re lying to yourself

I Value My Time
After reading the list, I realized there was one reason absent and that reason is why I’m not dating.  Want to know what that reason is? I value my time.  Here’s the thing, I enjoy going on dates.  I love meeting men however, I don’t need to date for the sake of it.  I’ve been on enough great dates to last a lifetime.  I know how to date.  I’m a pro at it.  I don’t recall one bad date/horror story in all my years of dating/going on dates.  I could have a great date in my sleep.  It requires zero effort.

worried

Put Yourself Out There
A male friend and I were talking about dating a few days ago and he said, “If you want to meet someone, you have to put yourself out there and I said, I put myself out there daily when I leave the house.  I’m involved in all kinds of things, I’m always going somewhere interesting and I literally talk to people 24/7.  Unless you set me up on a complete blind date with no conversation prior, I’m going to talk to my potential date.  Depending on that conversation, we may or may not go on a date.  I screen really well without interrogating.

Craigslist Casual Encounter
I’m not going on a date with someone who doesn’t meet my non-negotiables.  What’s the point of that?  I don’t need a free meal.  I suppose dating would make sense for me if I were looking for a “Craigslist Casual Encounter” or “Mr. Right Now.” I’m not.  I recently started an online dating experiment.  Here’s what I did; I wrote my profile in a very specific way leading with my faith in the first two paragraphs; how it looks, how I live it, how it affects my dating life and how my mate and I will live it together then I mentioned the word marriage in paragraph three.

Scare Guys Away
Most dating coaches/experts will tell you not to write such a specific profile because you will scare guys away and you won’t get a lot of dates.  Guess what…I don’t want a lot of dates.  I want one date with a man who is on the same page with me in the same book and I don’t have to date every Tom, Dick and Harry to meet him.  Again, I have great screening skills.

Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That
Prior to writing such a specific profile, I was getting asked out by all kinds of men; short, tall, black, white, Latin, Jewish, Armenian, a few extra pounds, a lot of extra pounds, athletic, Asian, Mexican, Peruvian…you name it.  I could’ve been out on a date every day, however, in the words of Sweet Brown…(press play on the video below)

Something to think about…

What say you? Do you feel pressure to date? Are you dating? Why? Why not? Should every single person be dating? Why?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Yasheda August 17, 2013

This was a great post. I am 22 years old (going on 23) and Im currently not dating. I really never had anyone to talk to about men and dating. This helped out a lot. Why am I not dating? I am not sure. First, i never really had a real date with a Christian guy. it would be nice too., but i just never had the opportunity. One guy asked me, but he NEVER followed up with me and i see him at church. Other than that, no one has ever asked me or the wrong guys hit on me. i sometimes feel pressured to date because my cousins have boyfriends, a lot of acquaintances are getting married and my grandparents are waiting for me to bring a guy home. lol.

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Yvonne Chase August 19, 2013

Yasheda,

Don’t cave into the pressure. Your grandparents can continue to wait:-) Keep living your life and putting yourself out there. You will catch the right guys eye. You’re young and you have a lot of life to live and lots of experiences to encounter that will expose you to a variety of men looking to meet a woman like you.

Keep your chin up!

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