If You’re Not Ready To Leave And Cleave, You’re Not Ready To Marry

by Yvonne Chase on June 19, 2015

He Messed Up And Is Missing Out
Ryan Ranellone, a participant on season 2 of Married at First Sight was not ready to leave and cleave to his wife and that is why his marriage ended after the six-week experiment.  He should’ve never signed up for the show.  Jaclyn was ready even though she had been single for seven years prior to being matched with Ryan.  He messed up and is missing out on what could be the best thing for his life.  

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Leave His Father And Mother
Genesis 2:24 lays it out in plain English; “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Leave means to do just that; leave.  It’s a verb. Here’s the definition; depart from, go away from, go from, withdraw from, retire from, take oneself off from, exit from, pull out of, be gone from, decamp from, disappear from, vacate, absent oneself from. You must be ready, willing and able to do this in order to marry.  Cleave means to adhere closely; stick; cling, to join with and remain faithful.  

Physically Clings To Jaclyn
When we put that all together, it looks like this; Ryan leaves his mother’s basement and he physically clings to Jaclyn in marriage.  She does the same.  They create a new life together that comes before their previous families.  Jaclyn is as close to her family as Ryan is to his, but she didn’t make it an issue.  It’s hard to leave and cleave when parents don’t let you.  They’re calling you every day. Asking you to run errands or pressuring you to stop by more often.  

He Couldn’t Cut The Chord And Leave
In the movie Jumping the Broom, Jason, played by Laz Alonso had to have a very firm talk with his mother played by Loretta Divine otherwise he wouldn’t have made it down the aisle to marry his fiance, Sabrina played by Paula Patton. His mother acted a fool from beginning to end until he put her in her place.  Her antics started before they said I do.  Had he not put her in her place, they might’ve continued after. I didn’t get the sense that Ryan’s mother or niece were meddling in his life like Jason’s mother was. That was all on Ryan.  He couldn’t cut the chord and leave.

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Created A New Family
You’re not ready to marry until you’re able to say to your parents, Mom, Dad, I love you and that won’t ever change but I’m married now and that is my first priority.  I won’t be able to stop by as often as you’d like or be at your beck and call for errands.  I need you to understand that.  Don’t put me in a position to choose between you and my spouse.  You won’t win.  That’s a tough conversation to have, but you must be willing to have it if and when necessary. Leaving your parents does not mean ignoring them or not spending any time with them. I agree 100% with how the writer over at gotquestions.org states it, “Leaving your parents means recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family.”

Something to think about…

What say you? What does leave and cleave mean to you? Should a person marry if they are not ready, willing and able to leave and cleave? Do parents play a role in their kids ability to leave and cleave?

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Mmabatho J. Seete (@MmabathoSisJ) June 19, 2015

What does leave and cleave mean to you? Nothing more to add to your explanation of it. Well said.

Should a person marry if they are not ready, willing and able to leave and cleave? Hell to the no!

Do parents play a role in their kids ability to leave and cleave? Absolutely. Parents should leave the past of a single you and cleave to the reality of a married you.

I think Ryan thought he was ready, but once married, realised he is not. He realised his single life had much to enjoy afteral. It’s not that he doesn’t care for Jaclyn or he doesn’t love her, but it might just simply be that he is not in-love with her. I wish them well. Who knows what will happen between them once the pressure and stress of the experiment has had a chance to bleed out from him. With clarity of mind, a deeper spark might ignite.

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Gia June 19, 2015

It became clear to me that Ryan was more like a father to his niece than an uncle. So if she is his child, she is part of the Ryan package, but I don’t think Ryan viewed it like this until he was in this experiment. Leaving and cleaving is correct but that didn’t seem to be his real issue – he was more concerned about his niece than his mother.
While Jaclyn accepted his niece he never thought about what marriage would mean for the 3 of them until he was in it and at that point he wasn’t ready.

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