People Really Do Make My World Go Round

by Yvonne Chase on April 27, 2020

How are you holding up now that we’re on day 5,000 of sheltering in place? Last week was a rough week for me. I was pissed off beyond measure because I couldn’t get groceries. I miss grocery shopping! It’s my favorite kind of shopping. Do you know how frustrating it is to show up to the supermarket and see a long line of people that goes up the block and around the corner? Of course, you do. We’re all in this, together right? Well some of us!

I took the bus to Whole Foods last week, saw the ridiculously long line, and walked away. Couldn’t do it! Then I went to another market and there was a long line. Couldn’t do that either. I took a chance and went to another store and a line was there waiting for me. I walked away frustrated thinking, is this life? What in the world is happening? We have to wait in line to buy food. Food? An essential item! No more walking in and out to get what we need? This is life?

Thankfully, I found a service in NY that will shop for me. I used them once a couple of weeks ago to get items from Trader Joe’s and it was great, so I went to their website on Saturday and placed my order for Whole Foods.

Usually, it takes a couple of days to hear back but as soon as I hit send, I got a phone call from a shopper, Sean, who was on his way to Whole Foods to get me twenty juicy mangoes and a few other items.

Sam shopped Trader Joe’s for me and Sean shopped Whole Foods. Both guys told me that moving forward, I could text them directly and they’d be happy to pick up whatever I need. Ain’t God good? A silver lining in this dark cloud! Because of Sean and Sam, grocery shopping is one less thing to think about. #godsfavor #waymaker. This got me to thinking about what else I miss…

People…I miss people. People energize me. A day is not a good day if I didn’t have a great conversation with a stranger or someone I know. For example:

people

Jeremy at the vegan ice cream shop up the block from my gym. We met one day when I stopped in. I don’t know what we were talking about, however, after that day, we became friendly neighborhood colleagues. Our times were always filled with great conversations about food; we’re both foodies and lots of laughter. If I was ever in a bad mood or not having a great day, a visit with Jeremy turned it all around. Plus, I no longer pay for my favorite mint chip ice cream because he’d give me a couple of scoops to go.

My girls over at Fat Daddy Mexican. I take food with me daily because I’m committed to eating clean and healthy and also because I am always hungry. On days when I don’t take food for whatever reason, I stop into Fat Daddy for a healthy mushroom bowl. The mushrooms are seasoned and sautéed perfectly, and they’re served with Jasmine rice, greens, and Pico de Gallo. My girls always give me extra whole wheat tortillas on the side. I found them one day randomly when I was starving after working out and since that day, I visit often not only to eat but to chat it up with the girls who serve me. The last time I was there, we gave each other a big hug.

J and I meet up at least once a week and act up in the NYC streets and I also miss meeting my friend Chris for a meal at some restaurant he picks that’s off the beaten path.

people

In addition to people, I miss going to the gym. It’s my second home. Sure, I’ve been working out since being under house arrest, however, there’s nothing like being in the gym. One of the things I like most about the gym in addition to getting a great workout is learning new workouts from other members. One day while working out, a guy was doing an exercise that caught my eye. I went over, chatted him up and not before long, we were taking turns doing the exercise together to strengthen the muscles around our knees. At the time, we were both in physical therapy for knee injuries. The social aspect of being in the gym is very fulfilling.

Living through this pandemic confirmed what is most important to me, people, and relationships. They have always been my focus and will continue to be so when this is all over. Things have never been my thing because things come and things go and I can always get more things, better things. Things, material things don’t define me or my world. Even though our access is limited, there is no shortage of things.

If you look at what I miss, all of it revolves around people. Relationships, meaningful relationships matter to me more than anything else. Because people/relationships are most important to me, it’s forced me to think about people/relationships that no longer serve me. That’s a part of life. As we live, move, and have our being, some people stay with us and others don’t. That’s the way life goes.

people

When this is over, I will be even more intentional about cultivating and nurturing healthy relationships by being fully present for the people in my life. I want the people in my life to know how much they mean to me; that I value them. Loving people well is my priority. Unfortunately, we live in a world pre-pandemic that uses people and loves things. Hopefully, loving people and using things will be our new normal when this is over.

One of the things I thought about while writing this post is this; how would we treat the people in our lives if we knew this pandemic was coming? I’m glad my girl at Fat Daddy and I hugged because the reality is who knows if/when we will see each other again?

Something to think about…

What say you? What do you miss? What’s most important to you in life? What will you be more intentional about? How will you show up to life when this is all over?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele Morin April 28, 2020

Oh, Yvonne, so often I think of and pray for the people in my world who are sheltering at home alone. That’s certainly an extra challenge on top of all the others (and those lines are the worst….).
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Yvonne Chase April 28, 2020

@Michele,

I dare say it’s better to go through this alone than with people who are not interested in living in harmony. I’m going through this alone and that is why my relationships with J, Chris, and others are so important. While we can’t see each other physically, we do speak quite often.
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Theresa Boedeker April 28, 2020

Like you, I miss people the most. The casual chats with the grocery clerk where you chat a minute and laugh over something. The longer one on one meetings with friends. The group meetings. church and saying hi to one another. Even just nodding to the stranger in the parking lot as I am putting away my cart and we smile and comment on how windy the day it is. Relationships do make my day and my world go around.
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Yvonne Chase April 28, 2020

@Theresa,

You know we’ve all heard the saying people make the world go round however some people aren’t interested in others. They are fine to live in a world without getting involved with others. You and I are not cut from that cloth at all. Random chats, long talks and deeply connecting with others make my day and my world.
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Jeanne Takenaka April 28, 2020

Awww, Yvonne. I have some friends and acquaintances sheltering-at-home solo. I’ve been praying for them. It’s tough being so cut off. Zoom, FaceTime, texts are great, but it’s that personal, face-to-face connecting that I miss. I miss smiling at people in the store as I pass them in the aisle. I mean, I still smile, it’s just no one sees it because it’s behind a mask.

I’m missing in-person time with family and friends. God is working in the midst of this, but I look forward to when we can see our people, give and receive hugs and laugh out loud in person.
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Yvonne Chase April 28, 2020

@Jeanne,

Yes, that face to face connection is everything. I recall bumping into a client while grocery shopping. We were so happy to see each other that we leaped to give a hug and then we realized, oops, we can’t do that! I too, look forward to the day when we can hug and laugh out loud in person.
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Lesley April 28, 2020

I agree, I miss the contact with people! I speak to people all the time on the phone or Zoom but it’s not the same as face-to-face. As an introvert I hadn’t realised just how much I valued social contact, but I certainly will appreciate it more now when things get back to normal.
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Yvonne Chase April 28, 2020

@Lesley,

Facetime, Zoom, and texting are all great, however, they will never take the place of face to face contact. Some people are fine with no in-person contact. I’m not one of those people. I have left many Zoom calls because after a while it becomes annoying and I only text to a bare minimum because of how easy it is for a text to get lost in translation.
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Laurie April 29, 2020

I am missing people too, Yvonne. I am missing my friends I saw at the gym every day, people from restaurants we used to go to all the time, the woman at the desk at the library who used to help me find just the right books, the list goes on and on. You are right – when this is over, I am never going to take those personal relationships we enjoy for granted ever again!
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Linda Stoll April 29, 2020

Oh yeah, the shopping! My husband goes with gloves and mask for 3 different households. Necessities are sometimes unavailable … and oh yes, I miss my friends.

I’m so grateful for gorgeous days like today to be outside, to walk, to soak in the sun.

Thanks, Yvonne for reflecting on this difficult season.

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Jennifer Smith April 29, 2020

So glad I stopped by – thanks for the stories and reminders of the good people out there. People making a difference in all kinds of ways. People helping to keep our own little world upright and in control. What a blessing!!

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Bev @ Walking Well With God May 1, 2020

Yvonne,
I have a good friend who is a total extrovert and this pandemic is just killing him. I can be a bit of an introvert so I am more comfortable sheltering in place. I am, however, a big hugger and I miss hugging people’s necks! I don’t want to take the gift of loving touch for granted. Continuing to pray for you, Yvonne…
Blessings sweet friend,
Bev xx
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Mo Mama May 9, 2020

Thanks for your dating tips, I also enjoyed reading your blog. I am dating online in this crisis after leaving my abusive husband last December and it’s really touching how much men just want to be loved and told that they are okay. They want to talk on the phone and not feel lonely, I haven’t felt pushed for meeting up physical. It’s redoing my faith in humanity despite what is going on. It’s really weird to be dating at 40 after a decade of marriage.
I’m glad I found your writing, I don’t feel like I am just winging it now, but I can see that I am not giving anyone a chance to lead! very helpful because makes me realize when I am doing all my kid and house and work stuff and trying to unspool the hidden yarn of racism in my brain, that it’s good to be busy and unavailable it’s giving a chance to let this person I’m texting with lead.
I’m bi so I get mixed up on roles but it’s funny how if you want a hetero relationship you have to play the right way. Like you can be yourself, but you have to play the game you’re in. You don’t bring a baseball to a soccer game.
So I found your site helpful since I am slightly of the older generation, but at the cusp. It’s hard to know which generation I belong to and it’s hard to get used to dating again, and virtually at that! 🙂
mo in seattle

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