Ready To Love And Ready For Love Are Very Different

by Yvonne Chase on November 5, 2018

Ready To Love And Ready For Love
Ready to Love and Ready for Love are two horses of a very different color even though it doesn’t seem that way to most. On the new show, Ready to Love, airing on OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) sexy, successful, grown black men and women in their 30’s and 40’s believe they are ready TO love because they’ve done what’s required of them at this stage of life.

ready
Coins In The Bank
Here’s what I mean; each participant is either a business owner or has a solid career. In addition, many are educated homeowners driving nice cars and living a great social life with a few coins in the bank. Contrary to popular belief which says you are ready FOR love because you have all of the above and maybe more, none of the above mentioned makes any of us ready TO love.

Material Trappings
For example, cast member Dr. Lexy thinks she has it going on and any man would be lucky to get her. She’s a doctor and she lets you know it.  She’s strong and confident and she lets you know that too, plus she has all the material trappings to go along with her image, however, her internal struggles are blindingly obvious I mean how confident and strong are you if everything on you is fake; hair, eyelashes, colored contacts, fake diamonds etc. Where’s the real you? What exactly are you trying to cover up? Will the real Dr. Lexy please stand up!

Deep Insecurities
In another scene, one of her dates asked her about the large amounts of makeup she wears. When she showed him a picture of her without all the makeup, he jokingly told her to wipe all that stuff off her face. Seems to me like the heavy makeup, over the top persona and all the bravado that goes along with being her are a cover for some very deep insecurities. 

Warts And All
When you’re ready TO love, there is no representative. You are comfortable in your skin and you are ready to show who you are, warts and all. You want to be fully seen and known. Unfortunately, Dr. Lexy was sent packing before the real person of who she is was revealed. I’d dare say how she presents is the reason she hasn’t found love. Ladies, men really don’t care about your education or credentials. I mean he cares, however, it’s not what makes him close the deal. 

Focused On The Past
In addition, when you’re ready TO love, the past doesn’t rule the present, which means, you’re not saying things like, “I don’t want to be hurt again” to potential suitors. Of course, you don’t want to be hurt again, however, if that is at the forefront of your mind, you’re still focused on the past and the hurt you experienced instead of the present and what you can do to create a great relationship. See the difference? In closing, I leave you with a few ways to become fully ready to love:

  • Deal with your past and get over it. 
  • Detach your worth/who you are and what you have to offer from material things.
  • Learn the skills needed to create the relationship you desire.
  • Know that successful relationships start with not only finding the right person but also becoming the right person. 

Something to think about…

What say you? Is there a difference between being ready to love and being ready for love?

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{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Yulunda November 5, 2018

This is all about being ready to receive AND give which means, the work has to be done by all. And, I think we have to stop thinking and looking for perfect but those attributes that ultimately matter most (if you even know).

I think I am so over the fakes, phony and frauds. People seek to achieve all of the external and the internal has no depth, power or substance and, these are the things that will ultimately shine through.

I don’t care how beautiful or wealthy you are, it won’t shine through and connect with someone’s soul.

P.S. Did you call her diamonds fake? Are they all fake or some fake sprinkled in here-and-there. LOL! 🙂

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