Repentance + Forgiveness = Reconciliation And Unity

by Yvonne Chase on March 19, 2018

True Repentance
I wrote a blog post recently for another blog about forgiveness where I talked about the importance of repentance; expressing sincere regret and remorse if we want reconciliation. Is reconciliation even possible without true repentance?

Hurts Us
I write about forgiveness often because it’s a huge deal to me. It’s such a huge deal that I do a forgiveness exercise often. When we don’t forgive, it hurts us the most. It hurts us in our relationship with God and it hurts us in our physical body.

Wreaks Havoc
I’ve done enough studying on the connection between physical health and negative emotions to know that unforgiveness wreaks havoc on our physical being. After my relationship with God, my health is my number one priority. Practicing forgiveness keeps me in excellent health and most importantly, it pleases God.

Let It Go
Here’s how The Forgiveness exercise looks: I lead with the sentence, “The person I need to forgive is (blank) and I forgive you for (blank) then I sit and speak out loud everything I need to forgive and I let it go. Sometimes the person I need to forgive is me and sometimes the thing I need to forgive is extremely difficult.

Cleansing And Freeing
During this exercise, there is a lot of prayers while asking the Holy Spirit to search my heart and convict me of any lurking sin. Often times while doing this exercise, there’s tears and a whole lot of worship. It’s cleansing and very freeing. You should try it!

Go To That Person
What I described above is unilateral; it’s solely between me and God. The other person isn’t present. It’s what God calls us to do, however, if someone hurts us, wrongs us, sins against us or leaves us feeling some kind of way, God calls us to go to that person privately to talk about it; “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” Matthew 18:15

I Forgive You
Saying, I forgive you while stewing on the inside doesn’t do you any good, however, many Christians are guilty of throwing out a quick “I forgive you” without ever confronting and dealing with the issues. 

Make It Right
Going to the person is key because sometimes we don’t even know we’ve hurt someone. Once it’s brought to our attention, we now have the chance to talk about it, repent, and make it right. I sincerely believe this is how God wants us to live.

Live In Unity
God is a God of unity, therefore, I believe he wants us to live in unity. Psalm 133 says, “Behold, how good and pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity.” Unity releases Gods presence and power. Unity is where Gods blessing is released. How can we live together in unity without reconciliation? 

Pursue Peace
Another verse that comes to mind is Romans 12:18 which says, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Guess what, although you may try to pursue peace with others, everyone is not interested in living in peace with you. You can only do what you can do. The verse makes it plain when it says, “If it is possible” which means it very well may not be possible. 

Fake Interactions
I don’t like broken relationships. Ignoring the elephant in the room doesn’t work for me. What I had to learn the hard way is this; everyone isn’t interested in addressing the elephant in the room. Some would rather act as if it doesn’t exist. What that leads to is fake interactions or none at all. How can we have quality relationships if we’re being fake?

Two Good Forgivers
In closing, I leave you with this popular quote by Ruth Bell Graham who was married to the late Billy Graham for over sixty years; “A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” It is my hope that we become master forgivers in our single lives so that if and when we do marry, our hearts are turned in the direction to repent, forgive, and reconcile quickly.    

Something to think about…

What say you? How important is repentance to forgiveness? Can we live in unity when there is no reconciliation? Is reconciliation possible without repentance? Are you a good forgiver?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

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Repentance + Forgiveness = Reconciliation & Unity

{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele Morin March 20, 2018

I love wisdom from Ruth Bell Graham, and she certainly was one good forgiver herself.
Thanks for wise words in this post.
Michele Morin recently posted…Fill Your Easter Basket with BooksMy Profile


Yvonne Chase March 21, 2018


Yes, Ruth Bell Graham was a class act and a very wise woman. Being a good forgiver is important even if my relationship status never changes to married. The Forgiveness Exercise helps me tremendously.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Disobedience To God Will Change The Trajectory Of Your LifeMy Profile


SUSAN SHIPE March 21, 2018

Wisdom 101. I shared on Twitter. Your Pinterest linky thing doesn’t seem to be working. FYI!


Trina Taylor March 21, 2018

Why is repentance first in the equation?


Yvonne Chase March 21, 2018


Great question.

If I hurt you, it’s important that I repent; show deep remorse and really let you know how sorry I am for my hurtful actions.

I also need to ask your forgiveness then take steps to make amends based on your terms. What do you need from me to make this right? How can I make this better?

After that step, I believe you will be more open to offering genuine forgiveness and from there we can reconcile and live in unity. Does that make sense?
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Mike Pence Would Agree; Hearing From God Is The Key To A Great Single LifeMy Profile


Char March 21, 2018

Amen. I believe lack of forgiveness is something I cannot even dare to entertain.


Yvonne Chase March 21, 2018


I’m right there with you. I’m forgiving everyone quickly so that my relationship with God is not tarnished. Reconciliation is always the goal, however, as I said in the post, it’s not always possible.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Live Like The BirdsMy Profile


Bonnie Lyn Smith March 21, 2018

Yes to the fact some folks don’t want to ever name or address the elephant in the room. I struggle with this so much in a family relationship. It feels so disempowering. I can’t function that way. Great post!


Gayl March 22, 2018

I love that quote from Ruth Bell Graham. She was a wise woman. We’ve just recently read her book , Prodigals and Those Who Love Them. What a wonderful, encouraging book!
I agree that repentance is an important part of forgiveness, esp. if we are harboring ill feelings in our hearts toward the one who has hurt us. Thank you for reminding us of how important it really is to forgive. And as always, reconciliation is always desired.
Blessings to you, Yvonne! I’m your neighbor at #HeartEncouragement.


Brenda March 22, 2018

I don’t like dancing around the elephant in the room, either, Yvonne. Good thoughts here today, thank you for sharing. 🙂
Brenda recently posted…Snow Still Falls in SpringMy Profile


Rachel Lee March 27, 2018

Really good word, Yvonne! Forgiveness and reconciliation…the two don’t always go hand in hand- I’ve come to discover. Forgiveness can be one-sided, whereas the other has to be mutual. I do believe we should strive for both, if possible. But it doesn’t always work the way we want it to, (unfortunately).
Forgiveness is a topic that will never grow old. It’s a hard and necessary subject. Thanks for sharing!


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