Satan Wins Every Time Divorce Papers Are Signed

by Yvonne Chase on March 26, 2018

No Longer Feels Loved
What makes you feel loved? I’m asking because, on the recent Married To Medicine reunion show, we learned Dr. Simone filed divorce papers to end her marriage of twenty-one years to her husband Cecil because she no longer feels loved and appreciated. Did Satan win? Simone says she can’t remember the last time she heard Cecil say, “I love you, Simone.” On the reunion show, I learned something about Cecil that I’ve seen to be true of a lot of men.

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Through His Actions
Cecil shared his way of saying, “I love you” is actually through his actions. When he said that, I immediately thought about my Dad. His way of saying,”I love you” to my mother was through his actions, which looked like him working hard to provide a good life for his family and being someone she could rely on.

I Love You Through Actions
If my mother didn’t know anything, she knew she could rely on my dad, however, there were many times I saw my mother feel like Simone.  She needed to hear my father say, “I love you, Allison. Thank you for all you do for our family.” That would’ve made her much happier in their marriage. Unfortunately, he comes from a generation of men like Cecil who were taught to say I love you through actions, not words. I believe it’s the way many men are raised even today. 

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Demonstrate Caring
So, how does a single person avoid feeling like Simone? The book, The Five Love Languages: How To Express Heartfelt Commitment To Your Mate written by Dr. Gary Chapman is a great place to start. Dr. Chapman says:

To discover another person’s love language, one must observe the way they express love to others, and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the recipient understands. 

Intentionally Give Love
Dr. Chapman believes every person has one primary love language and one secondary love language. Problems arise in relationships when we give love in the way we receive love. When we understand our persons love language, we can now intentionally give love in the way they receive love. It becomes about them and not us. Let’s learn the five love languages and the meaning behind each language from Gary:

1.Words of Affirmation. This love language uses words to affirm others; to build up. Words of affirmation include words of encouragement, words of praise, and kind words. For example, verbal compliments, or words of appreciation, are powerful communicators of love. They are best expressed in simple, straightforward statements of affirmation, such as:

“You look sharp in that suit.”

“Do you ever look incredible in that dress! Wow!”

“I really like how you’re always on time to pick me up at work.”

2. Acts of Service. Actions speak louder than words for the person with this love language. By acts of service, I mean doing things you know your spouse would like you to do. You seek to please her by serving her, to express your love for her by doing things for her. Consider actions such as cooking a meal, setting a table, emptying the dishwasher, vacuuming, changing the baby’s diaper, picking up a prescription, keeping the car in operating condition — they are all acts of service. They require thought, planning, time, effort and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are indeed expressions of love.

3. Gifts.  Receiving a gift is what makes this person feel loved. A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or, “She remembered me.” You must be thinking of someone to give him or her a gift. The gift itself is a symbol of that thought. It doesn’t matter whether it costs money. What is important is that you thought of him or her. And it is not the thought implanted only in the mind that counts but the thought expressed in actually securing the gift and giving it as the expression of love.

4. Quality Time.  This love language is all about giving your undivided attention. Being there is crucial. What I mean is sitting on the couch with the TV off, looking at each other and talking, devices put away, giving each other your undivided attention. It means taking a walk, just the two of you, or going out to eat and looking at each other and talking.

5. Physical Touch.  For this person, nothing says I love you more than appropriate physical touch that is not limited to the bedroom. Sitting close to each other as you watch your favorite television program requires no additional time but may communicate your love loudly. Touching your spouse as you walk through the room where he is sitting takes only a moment. Touching each other when you leave the house and again when you return may involve only a brief kiss or hug but will speak volumes to your spouse.  Watch the quick video below to see how this all looks:

A Win For Satan
When fellow cast member Dr. Damon learned of the divorce, he said, “Divorce is a win for Satan” and he went on to explain it like this; “There is a strength in the family. What’s happening in America right now is that unit is being attacked and that’s bringing weakness in other ways.” He’s holding on to his last prayer that Dr. Simone and Cecil fight for their marriage. 

Satan Is Winning
I agree with Dr. Damon; Satan wins everytime divorce papers are signed because he has now destroyed the family unit which I believe is the foundation upon which everything rests. Our world is broken because families are broken. Satan is winning! 

Loving Each Other Well
So singles, if we want Satan to lose, let’s take the time to learn our love language plus the love languages of the important people in our lives and get on with the business of loving each other well. How does that sound?

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Something to think about…

What say you? How has knowing your love language helped your relationships? How has not knowing your love language affected your relationships? Are you raising your sons in such a way that he knows how to express his emotions verbally? Is divorce a win for Satan?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

P.S. you can find out your love language here

P.P.S. Dr. Simone and Cecil decided to call off the divorce and get into intense counseling to save their marriage. Satan lost…

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Trina Taylor March 26, 2018

I watched this season and I was shocked when Dr. Simone revealed she filed divorce papers. That came out of left field.

Dr. Damon is correct. Divorce is definitely a win for Satan. Dr. Simone and Cecil do not need a divorce.

21 years is a long time to be married. Simone did say she hasn’t felt loved by Cecil for 10 years. I get it that’s a long time to not feel loved however I am so glad the cast rallied around them to fight for their marriage.

I’m sure it will take a lot of work but I do believe they can make it and come out better on the other side. They have all of my prayers.

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Lesley March 27, 2018

The love languages are so helpful in explaining how we all best receive love in different ways. Becoming aware of our own preferred language, and others’, can help a lot.

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Yvonne Chase April 5, 2018

@Leslie,

You are so right. Knowing our love language and the language of the important people in our lives helps a lot in building quality relationships beyond marriage.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Where Did You Get Your Ideas About Marriage?My Profile

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Roseann Hampton March 30, 2018

My husband and I went to a 2 day event on the 5 love languages. It was very helpful to understand how we are different! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger’s Pit Stop! Roseann from This Autoimmune Life

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Rachel Lee April 2, 2018

Yes and Amen! I’m all about the 5 love languages. They’ve greatly helped my own relationships, and I recommend them to anyone struggling in their own. Pinning!

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Crystal Twaddell April 5, 2018

I so believe in these 5 love languages as a way to reconnect in marriage and grow in love again. After so many years, my husband and I decided to try and mend some areas by returning to these love languages which we left behind in the midst of struggle. Our love languages changed, and now that we are aware, we can be more intentional. Great post!

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Yvonne Chase April 5, 2018

@Crystal,

That’s wonderful. We are living in a day and time when we have tools like the love languages to help us in our relationships. As I mentioned in my latest post, couples who married in my parents day didn’t have these tools to help them in the midst of struggle. It would behoove us to take advantage of what’s available to us.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Where Did You Get Your Ideas About Marriage?My Profile

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Gretchen Fleming April 8, 2018

The love language book was huge for me. Explained so much for my marriage, parenting and other extended family relationships. Definitely changed the way I love others.

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