She’s Black, He’s White – So What?

by Yvonne Chase on November 18, 2013

blackBlack Spouse By His Side
Yesterday I read an article about NYC Mayor Bill De Blasio and his black wife Chirlane McCray.   The article focused on interracial dating and here’s what it said:

In July, a Gallup poll found that 87 percent of Americans approved of interracial marriage — the highest rate ever — compared with 4 percent in 1958.  In 2010, more than 15 percent of all new marriages were interracial, according to the Pew Research Center.  Statistics indicate why De Blasio and McCrary are such a rarity. 

The Gallup poll showed that 14 percent of white people did not approve of intermarriage, compared with 2 percent of black people.  And white men are the least likely to marry outside of their race — more than 97 percent of white men are married to white women (82 percent of black men, 65 percent of Hispanics and 48 percent of Asians marry within their own group). The figures are based on 2005 census data analyzed by Michael Rosenfeld, a Stanford University sociologist who studies interracial marriage.  Much has been made of the difficulties black women have in selecting husbands from a pool of eligible black men shrunk by unemployment and incarceration.  Among black women age 35 and over, more than 25 percent have never been married, compared with about 7 percent of white women, census figures show.  Black men also are twice as likely as black women to marry outside of their race.

The Blacker The Better
The article also made mention of the fact that McCray does not resemble the type of black woman mainstream America usually deems beautiful; Halle Berry and Beyonce.  They were surprised by it.  I’m not.  White men like Bill De Blasio love black women who look like McCray.  For most white men, the blacker more authentic/exotic looking you are, the better.  Most white men don’t go for the Halle Berry or Beyonce type.  They’re too close to white.  I know a lot of black women who look like McCray and are married to white men.  Nothing surprising there for me.

Skin Color Doesn’t Matter
I’m glad we’re living in a day and time where skin color really doesn’t matter because according to my close friends, I will probably end up with a white man.  I get approached by white men all the time.  Doesn’t matter to me one bit as long as we work together; the way Nia Long (Jordan) and her love interest Eddie Cibrian (Brian McDonald) worked in the blockbuster movie The Best Man Holiday.  Have you seen it?


Love Has No Color
Their coupling had nothing to do with her not being able to find a suitable black man.  Their coupling had everything to do with the fact that they met through life experiences and realized that while they’re both a movement by themselves, they’re a force when they’re together.  They work…period! He’s into her, she’s into him and their love has no color.  The fact that he’s white wasn’t made a big deal at all.  Very different than how I’ve seen it introduced in other movies.

Doing It For All The Wrong Reasons
That’s what interracial dating should be about.  It should never be about putting your race down while elevating another.  It should never be about disrespecting your race.  If you’re dating inter-racially because you have problems with your race, i.e. “Black women are difficult,”or “There are no good black men out there,”or you think one race is better than the other, you’re doing it for all the wrong reasons.

Something to think about…

What say you? Do you approve of interracial dating? Are you shocked by the statistics?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

diann November 18, 2013

those stats don’t seem correct; seems like a lot more white men are dating or married to women who aren’t white.


Yvonne Chase November 18, 2013


Perhaps they are wrong…I don’t know…I didn’t conduct the research. Whatever the numbers are, I hope people are dating inter-racially for all the right reasons. Love has no color in my eyes.


catherine gacad November 18, 2013

before i was married, i was equal opportunity and totally agree that love has no color. i really like inter-racial couples because it means that people are open-minded and open to learning and discovering new cultures and incorporating a totally different family as your own.


Yvonne Chase November 18, 2013


And that’s a beautiful thing! I remember asking my mother many years ago how she would feel if she had a white son-in-law and she said, “I’m fine with it just make sure you both understand each others cultures.”

That’s what its about…having an open mind and the willingness to learn and discover a new culture.


BRITTNEI November 18, 2013

I think marriage is beautiful. Dating in or out of your race is irrelevant. People who are thinking about one race over the other will probably be most likely be the ones who fall into getting married later and later. This guy said something on a movie I was watching that rang so true. He said women don’t know what they want until it’s staring them in the face. If you are trusting God for a mate, you should be careful not to think it will be one race over the other or you might be oblivious to who He really wants you to marry.


Yvonne Chase November 18, 2013


Unfortunately, some people, when they think about interracial dating do think about one race being better than they other. I’m open to love no matter the race. Like you said, its irrelevant.


Tiffany November 22, 2013

I 100% love interracial dating! The stats could possibly be higher. I am black, my husband is white. Gotta admit, we have those discussions about black vs. white. Just cause we are married and of a different race, we still disagree on certain race relations issues. I think that’s what helps to keep our relationship strong and vibrant. We can’t agree on everything, that would be like me being married to myself!
Stopping by from the Sorry, Not Sorry Social! Have a great weekend!


Yvonne Chase November 22, 2013

@Tiffany, the late great Ruth Graham used to say, ” If two people agree on every thing, one of them is unnecessary.” We can learn a lot through our differences.

Thanks for stopping by!


Cassi November 23, 2013

I am the product of interracial dating/marriage. It was hard for my parents and perhaps that’s why they didn’t last. My paternal grandfather never let my mom in their house but always accepted me.


Yvonne Chase November 23, 2013

@Cassi…That’s unfortunate what happened with your mom. Glad you were accepted.

Thanks for stopping by!


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