Spirited Comment, Marriage, Divorce And What God Intended

by Yvonne Chase on October 3, 2017

Spirited Comment

Stereotypical Single Black Mother
Today I woke up to a spirited comment on the post, Janet Jackson Could’ve Avoided Divorce And Single Motherhood. Read it below and we’ll talk after:

Janet and Wissam were only married 4 years and a few months. She’s got her own money and will be just fine without her ex husband’s money. You’ve based an entire blog post on rumors so unless you have had an exclusive sit down with her – ease up. She never converted to her ex husband’s faith but out of respect she did adopt the style of dress that is typical of women living in Quatar. 

Sometimes women date men at certain times in their because of certain circumstances. In this instance, her brother passed and Wissam entered her life. He possibly provided the chance to retreat from the public eye – something she has never had the opportunity to do. I’m sure it was nice to be out of the limelight, no demands on her time, no prying eyes or questions about her family.

A baby resulted from that union and the world knows Janet Jackson isn’t about to be some stereotypical single black mother.

Your blog is cool but please get off your high horse with the superiority tone.

All The Wrong Reasons
A wise person once said we can learn a lot from others. We don’t have to make the mistakes they made. Janet Jackson was used as an example, however, the post is not really about her. It’s about the many singles who ignore the red flags and marry for all the wrong reasons.

Marriage Is A Calling
In my post, Dear Future Husband, I’m Not Writing You A Letter, I love reader Tina for the comment she left:

I love reading your blog. You may a lot of great points. I am in my single season and learning so much from God that a man or marriage doesn’t cross my mind. Marriage is something God created & therefore it is only God that can prepare us for marriage. Biblical, no one has written letter to their future husband or wife. Therefore I am not wasting my time, when I know deep in my heart the Lord is calling me to seek his kingdom.

I believe marriage is now something everyone is wanting but many are not spiritual mature, and many are not seeking God Kingdom to know him for who he is. They seek for marriage. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

Marriage is a calling for two to carry out the Lord plan. For Example: Abraham and Sarah, fathers of nation and mother of nations. There was a calling for their marriage and through their marriage God give them Isaac to fulfill his will.It is up to God whom he decide to give in marriage. The future spouse letter is something single woman have taken to fill the void in their heart. Singleness is a gift as well and it is to be embrace with having a father and daughter relationship with the Almighty God. I do believe it is important to study what marriage is according to the Lord words, to have discernment and to be prepared spiritual if the Lord wills to change your status.

Carry Out The Lords Plan
Tina is right, everyone wants marriage, yet many are not spiritually mature for all that marriage entails. We seek marriage yet never seek Gods’ will for our marriage. There are very few people who view marriage as a calling to carry out the Lord’s plan. I’ve never heard anyone say they are getting married to carry out the Lord’s plan. Have you? 

Pain Of Divorce
One of the main reasons I blog is to remind us that singleness is indeed a gift. I’m here to offer advice around dating smart so that we can make wise choices and avoid the pain of divorce. Talk to any honest divorced person you can find and they will tell you just how painful it is.

Benefit And Blessing
While Janet Jackson will never be a stereotypical single black mother, her son is missing out on the benefit and blessing of living in a home with two parents who are fully committed to each other, no different than other kids who are caught in the middle of a divorce.

God Didn’t Intend
Innocent children suffer the most. They miss out on the opportunity of seeing their parents love each other, disagree with each other, resolve issues and so much more. Instead, they’re shuttled back and forth in a way God didn’t intend. 

Something to think about…

Have you experienced divorce or know someone who has? How painful was it? What advice can you offer to singles? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post even if you don’t like it. Someone else might like it and need it

Karen, the next best thing to mummy October 5, 2017

I have been through a divorce and married for a second time, making a blended family, I have written a blog post about my experiences #happynow@_karendennis

Barbara Radisavljevic October 7, 2017

I’ve been married for over fifty years to the same man. They were not all happy years, but both of us were committed Christians and the Lord helped us through the rough spots. From the moment we married, neither of us saw divorce as a way to resolve marital difficulties. Instead we realized that God was using our difficulties to help us grow a more mature love.

Divorce is so easy today that many from the beginning of their marriage see it as an option if they run into problems. People want instant solutions. Many have no example of parents who were committed to each other as they resolved their difficulties.
Unless one is in an abusive situation, separation probably won’t solve anything. And if one then remarries without understanding what really went wrong, a new partner will not necessarily lead to a happier marriage.
Barbara Radisavljevic recently posted…Peace After a Stressful DayMy Profile

Yvonne Chase October 13, 2017


So much wisdom in your comment. I love this: “God was using our difficulties to help us grow a more mature love.” What a great way to view the difficulties of life.

I’m grateful to have had the example of parents who were committed to each other as they resolved their difficulties. It’s why I’m able to hang in there when the going gets tough.

You are absolutely spot on when you say this: Remarrying without a full understanding of what went wrong the first time around will not lead to a happier marriage.

May God continue to richly bless your union.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Waiting Until Marriage Does Not Guarantee A Great Sex LifeMy Profile

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