At a recent Sunday service, the pastor paused for a moment of thanksgiving. The entire congregation in unison poured our hearts out to say thank you to God for his faithfulness, goodness, mercy, grace; in a nutshell, for everything.
As I said thank you for everything in my life, a feeling overwhelmed me and I began to thank him deeply for every romantic relationship that didn’t work. I thanked him that I am unmarried and that he continues to keep me for such a time as this.
My thanks overflowed for the strength he gives me to not identify any part of my life by my relationship status. Tears flowed as I thought about the few men I could’ve married and how my life could possibly look today. It was a great moment between me and my Heavenly Father.
Sitting in front of me were Glenn and Marie; the couple who led the first premarital class I sat in many years ago; the class that changed my life. The class that ended a relationship that I’m certain would’ve ended in divorce. At the end of service during our time of hugs and farewells, Marie turned around and we hugged each other tightly.
I shared with her what God put on my heart during our time of thanksgiving and she said to me, “And you’re so strong. Look at you! God is faithful. There’s a young lady here I’d like to introduce you to. She could use a solid woman like you in her life. Let me pray on it some more and let us get together for brunch soon.”
Here’s the truth; I don’t crave marriage. Is it something I’d like? Sure…why not? It’s a good thing. Doing life with a great man appeals to me in every way. With that said, as I look over the course of my life experiences; the ups, downs, in and outs and I see how God knit me together in my mother’s womb and I look at my faith and all that comes with being the woman God created me to be, I know any ol man won’t do. Knowledge of self through God’s lens is very powerful and extremely helpful along this journey.
In addition, I love being alone. Yes, I like people and Lord knows I enjoy being social, however, when it’s just me, myself and I, that’s more than enough. Everyone doesn’t feel the same. For example, my colleague Brianna says, “That’s the reason I go in and out of relationships. I’ve had seven boyfriends in a very short period of time all because I don’t want to be alone”, meanwhile, I’ve had four serious relationships over the span of my entire life.
Over the weekend on Twitter, someone in my time line said the following, “Keep prioritizing yourself and you will be forty and single with no man and no children” to which one of my followers replied, “Nothing wrong with being single. Nothing wrong with not having kids. Forty is not old.” The tweet that started it all is this, “Not being linked to a man and having no children really does wonders for a woman’s skin and overall vitality. No wonder society demonizes it.” Maybe that’s why people think I’m twenty years younger!😊
For me, being in a relationship and marriage has always been more about the right man than the right time/age. If the man ain’t right, the time is wrong. It’s not about prioritizing myself, it’s about prioritizing God’s will for my life and following where his hand leads. I trust him implicitly with this most important area of my life.
Here’s what I know for sure; God gives us the grace to do what he calls us to do whether single or married. Ephesians 4:7 says, “Yet grace [God’s undeserved favor] was given to each one of us [not indiscriminately, but in different ways] in proportion to the measure of Christ’s [rich and abundant] gift.”
Something to think about…
What say you? Share your comments on the post and tell me something you’ve said thank you to God for lately.
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