Thanks Chris…

by Yvonne Chase on August 18, 2011

Earlier today on Twitter, the question was asked, you’re committed to celibacy and have been for X years but your partner is getting antsy.  What do you do?  My response was, if he’s not committed to celibacy, he’s not the right guy.  I wanted to add, dump him but I only had 140 characters.

As I read the question, I was reminded of a relationship I was in several years ago with Chris.  We were both committed to celibacy and held each other accountable.  One instance between us always stands out in my mind and makes me smile from ear to ear.  On this particular night, we were at my place hanging out and it got really late and if I remember it right, there was a ton of snow on the ground from a wicked snow storm.

Chris decided to stay over and we fell asleep on the couch.  To get really comfortable, he moved to the floor and I brought out a blanket and thought I was about to lay next to him when he said, nope, go to your room and sleep in your bed.  You’re not sleeping here with me.  We’re not doing that.  All I was going to do was go to sleep.  Nothing else was on my mind however, Chris didn’t want to give place or make room for something to happen that we didn’t want to happen.  I went to my room, shut the door and went to sleep solo.  I will always respect Chris and love him for putting his foot down and protecting our relationship.

Because Chris and I were on the same page, we protected each other and made sure we didn’t do anything to take us off course.  Our priority was honoring God in our relationship and we were successful.  Amos 3:3 asks a very important question:

Can two walk together unless they agree? (NKJV)

Can two walk together unless they be agreed? (KJV)

Do people walk hand-in-hand if they aren’t going to the same place? (The Message)

Can two walk together without agreeing on the direction? (New Living Translation)

The word agreed means to walk to the same place, a heading for a common destination.

We were able to walk together because we agreed on a celibate lifestyle and we were on the same page going in the same direction.  Celibacy is a lifestyle that is lived out with someone who has the same value and commitment.  I’ve tried to remain celibate with guys that were not or thought they could be and it did not work.  Chris wanted to remain celibate as much as I did therefore we held each other accountable and did not put ourselves in compromising situations and no he’s not gay or in the closet.  He’s an upstanding man of God with a strong desire to do the right thing even though his flesh may want him to do the wrong thing.

Swimsuit model Jessica White was recently interviewed about her decision to become celibate and here’s what she had to say, women nowadays, we connect physically too soon without actually getting to know the person.  If you don’t actually give this person your body and then they let you down, there really isn’t a great disappointment; not like it would be if you have already connected physically.  A lot of people fall in love because you’re sharing your body with someone.  And sometimes you get it twisted and you think that that’s real love.  High five to Jessica!

So, to the lady who asked the question, its time to dump him and stick to your guns unless you plan on caving in to satisfy his flesh and tying your souls together.  Trust me, you don’t want to do that…

Something to think about…

© Copyright 2011-2012, Yvonne Chase. All rights reserved.

Joceyn August 18, 2011

Several years into dating my boyfriend (now husband) I really began to take my spirituality and personal relationship the Christ very seriously. One day I came to him and said, I love you but I’m not willing to go to hell for you. God has really placed on my heart the fornication was wrong and every time we did it…I felt horribly separated from God. I didn’t know how my hubby would take the news, but when I made the decision to follow Christ I decided to leave behind all things that were “not like him” and risk my relationship. Surprisingly, hubby wholeheartedly accepted my decision expressed that sex was not enough to make him leave our relationship. That is when things really began to flourish in our relationship. With sex removed we really began to learn and grow in Christ and with one another. Three years we were celibate and while it was hard…this just confirmed for me that this was the man I was supposed to spend my life with. Never once during those 3 years did he express any frustration because he know that we were both answering to a power higher than ourselves. We both believe that when you know better…you should do better. I love him for walking with me in obedience and faith. I should definitely add this to my list of reasons I married my hubby when I blog later on today.

Yvonne August 18, 2011

Amen Jocelyn. When you know better, you should do better. Definitely add that to the list of why you married your hubby. That’s wonderful. Thanks for sharing.

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