The Duggars Need To Tell The Whole Truth And Shame The Devil

by Yvonne Chase on June 4, 2015

Tarnished Their Pristine Image
Last night, I sat down with much of America to watch the highly anticipated Duggar interview with Megyn Kelly on FOX News.  I’ve never watched FOX News nor have I ever watched 19 Kids and Counting; the reality show that chronicles the life of the Duggars. Josh, their oldest son molested 4 of his sisters and a babysitter over a decade ago.  The records were sealed, however, a vindictive person who wants to see this family go down in flames leaked the records to the tabloid magazine In Touch.  Of course, this new information tarnished their pristine image.  

Strict Rules Around Dating
You see, the Duggars are an extremely conservative Christian family. They have very strict rules around dating; holding hands is okay.  Frontal hugs are not. Side hugs only and no kissing or sex before marriage. Oh and dates are chaperoned and their parents can listen in on their conversations and review their text messages.  Say no to birth control is another rule.  Have as many kids as the Lord allows.  Josh wants to have 25 children.  I can’t…For the women, always be available sexually to your husbands etc. Two of their daughters who were molested by Josh, Jill, 24, and Jessa, 22, recently married and happily followed their parents dating rules.  Apparently a spin-off show is in the works.  

Duggars
Fess Up And Own Up
My problem with last night’s interview was The Duggars trying to downplay what happened. When you get caught with your hand in the cookie jar, it’s best to fess up and own it.  We all mess up.  None of us is perfect.  I don’t care how many scriptures you read a day or how many times you drop to your knees and pray, you are going to mess up.  Paul makes this crystal clear in Romans 7:19-25:

17-20 But I need something more! For if I know the law but still can’t keep it, and if the power of sin within me keeps sabotaging my best intentions, I obviously need help! I realize that I don’t have what it takes. I can will it, but I can’t do it. I decide to do good, but I don’t really do it; I decide not to do bad, but then I do it anyway. My decisions, such as they are, don’t result in actions. Something has gone wrong deep within me and gets the better of me every time.

21-23 It happens so regularly that it’s predictable. The moment I decide to do good, sin is there to trip me up. I truly delight in God’s commands, but it’s pretty obvious that not all of me joins in that delight. Parts of me covertly rebel, and just when I least expect it, they take charge.

24 I’ve tried everything and nothing helps. I’m at the end of my rope. Is there no one who can do anything for me? Isn’t that the real question?

25 The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.

Own Up To Your Mess Ups
I messed up big time last week with a colleague.  When it was brought to my attention via email, I instantly said, you’re right.  This is a big mess up.  I am beyond sorry. Is there anything I can do to fix it? Because I took full responsibility and owned it, that was the beginning and the end of it.  There was room for me to make light of it, downplay it and even shift blame to someone else, but that never works.  I was going to discuss it in person and apologize again, but she moved on and never gave it a second thought.  Our relationship elevated and she further extended her assistance to me on a personal project.  People respect you when you own up to your mess ups.

Duggars
Tell The Entire Ugly Truth
That is what I want for The Duggars.  This issue was forced out of the closet.  They should’ve told it when it happened instead of covering it up.  What’s done in the dark always comes to light.  It’s always best to spill your tea and tell your own dirt to avoid distortion and scandal.  It’s time to tell the entire ugly truth. Leave no stone unturned.  Stop making light of it. Stop saying things like, “He touched them through their clothes. They were asleep and not even aware.  It was only a few seconds.” One second is too long for Josh to touch his siblings inappropriately.  I agree with someone on Twitter who said, “A 14 and 15-year-old should know better! Stop acting like he was a 6-year-old”playing doctor.” Exactly! 

We Need To Hear From Josh
Josh is a 27-year-old married man with three children and one on the way.  Let him do the interview.  Surely he can speak for himself. We need to hear from Josh. We need to see that he understands the error of his ways.  The longer his parents speak on his behalf, the bigger hole they are digging for themselves. People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.  Stop hiding. Let the entire ugly truth come out and let God fight this battle for you otherwise, stop doing interviews.  If you believe the Bible and trust God in the way I hear you project on your show, let the world see that side of you.  All things work together for good including this horrible saga so what do you have to lose?

Duggars

Steal, Kill, And Destroy
Christianity is under serious attack and the Duggars are the perfect scapegoat.  The world wants to take down anyone who stands up for righteousness.  According to a new Pew Research Center Study, the Christian share of the US population is declining while the number of U.S. adults who do not identify with any organized religion is growing. While I really couldn’t take much of Michelle in last night’s interview, I agree with her when she says there is an agenda to hurt and destroy.

Attacked Because Of Their Christian Faith
They are definitely being attacked because of their Christian faith and because they have taken a strong stand against homosexuality and sexual immorality of any kind. People are mad at them for their views and beliefs.  Today on the View, Whoopi Goldberg made it crystal clear that she is not interested in hearing anything they have to say because they disagree with the transgender lifestyle.  This is what happens when others spill your tea and you appear to have it all together when you really don’t.  None of us do.

Something to think about…

What say you? Did you watch the interview? What did you think of Jim Bob and Michelle/the interview? Do they need to stop doing interviews and let Josh speak for himself? Talk to me…

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Anon June 4, 2015

25???? o em geee

i didn’t watch the interview but i have no sympathy for the duggars.
i’m christian, but i’m not a fan of the conservative christian movement in this country – it seems to be its their way or the highway with no love. i was never sure of their motive for making such a show in the first place…

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Yvonne Chase June 4, 2015

@Anon,

O Em Gee is right! Something is seriously wrong with anybody who wants 25 kids!

Like you, I am unsure of their motive for doing the reality show especially in light of the incidents with Josh prior. They really thought his dirt would never come out.

SMH into a new hairstyle! I can’t…
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Gale June 4, 2015

I didn’t watch the show…I didn’t watch the interviews. I was going to ignore it as something sad but someone else’s business until someone posted something about how the curriculum they may have used when counceling Josh (by a program they endorse highly and have even spoken for, though it’s not certain whether they used this particular resource when counceling him). I won’t share the post I first read it in, which contained a lot of swearing and some Christian bashing, but this one deals with the material more thoroughly and intellegently: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2015/05/what-did-josh-duggars-counseling-look-like.html

Basically, it contains victim blaming and I HOPE they didn’t use it. I have friends who are Quiverfull… though I don’t believe in it’s tenants personally, I don’t have a problem with people who follow it. But there is a “modesty” culture in Christianity which goes too far sometimes (not against modesty, but I’m against using it to shame women, and in this case children).

Though what gets me about the Duggars is when I learned that all this was still being dealt with in late 2013, and they started the show in Late 2005…so all this happened and two years later they are going on TV. I understand when you have a child molest another child you would not want everyone to know…because for all at stake a child’s privacy is important. I understand that with someone this age he may not be a pedophile (he’s a child himself…by definition a pedophile is an adult who’s sexually attracted to children). I also have read that teens who molest, but receieve proper counceling, have a good chance of NOT going on to abuse others in the future. So I don’t blame them for keeping it quiet or trying to keep their child from going to jail (where he could be abused himeself…the juvenile justice system is a mess)…and not wanting him labled as a molestor, which would, probably, change the whole course of his life. And I understand them keeping it quiet especially for the sake of the girls, who would probably not want people knowing about this. But I don’t understand why they would then agree to participate in reality TV show. Wouldn’t they know this was likely to come out? This could have come out much sooner…land been much much worse for all the children involved.

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Gale June 4, 2015

OOPS…I meant 2003, not 2013, above. My point was they were starting on the show barely two years after all this happened.

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MB June 4, 2015

Victim blaming is never ok. I am with you in hoping that’s not what they used.

Yes they had the responsibility of parents the girls and their son, who were all the children at the time and needing that parental protection.

But you raise a valid point in why they decided to go ahead with the reality tv show… They probably assumed, as you and I would, that sealed police reports were, you know, sealed…
MB recently posted…Josh Duggar and forgivenessMy Profile

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2015

@MB,

That was their assumption. They said it in the interview. Doing the reality show was a big mistake especially if they intended to keep such a dirty secret in the closet.
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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2015

@Gale,

Whether they knew it would come out or not, it did. When it came out, that was their opportunity to tell the truth and not cover it up any longer. Had they done that back in 2003, I doubt they would be dealing with it in 2015.

They were hoping their pristine image would live on. They wanted the public to think they have no skeletons in their closet. And this is why many want to see them go up in flames. They presented a picture of perfection when the reality is, they’re no more perfect than you and I. This is a lesson for all of us.

I feel bad for them…
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Patrick Weseman June 4, 2015

I have never watched the show and I have just glanced over the headlines. I think it is sad what happened. Christianity is not to blame for this but money is to blame for this. TLC pays them a bunch of money for that show and if this would broke years ago, TLC would have canceled the show in a heartbeat.

http://csuhpat1.blogspot.com/2015/06/picnic-in-park.html

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2015

@Patrick,

Welcome to my neck of the woods. Don’t think I’ve seen you here before. Thanks for stopping by.

Christianity and the stance they’ve taken on hot-button issues are the reasons for all the hate spewed at them by Whoopi Goldberg and others.

You’re absolutely right…they make a ton of money from this show and TLC makes even more; $25 million in advertising. Would they have canceled it back then? I’m not sure. Will they cancel it now? They haven’t yet.
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MB June 4, 2015

They are being used as a scapegoat, which is unfortunate, and yes perhaps the best thing is fo the whole, ugly truth to come into the light. I don’t think his parents covering for him is the best thing to do at this point. He’s a man, not a child.

It makes sense for them to share their POV as they were the adults in the situation at the time. But that’s done now and Josh Rogers is no longer a child that needs a parent’s protection.
MB recently posted…Josh Duggar and forgivenessMy Profile

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2015

@MB,

People are going to keep digging for more dirt so they might as well tell it all.

His parents covering for him is the worst idea ever. Why can’t this 27-year-old married man speak up for himself? Them speaking on his behalf is not a good look. Everyone is talking except him. What’s that about?
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Mmabatho J. Seete (@MmabathoSisJ) June 4, 2015

I have not watched the interview, only snippets on CNN with Don Lemon and Dr. Drew. Frankly, it’s difficult to listen to the commentary because of the anger oozing from contributors. They are emotionally invested and are using the Duggars as a container for their strange anger against Christianity. I was thankful for Charles Blow (on with Don Lemon). His was sober and insightful commentary along the lines of how difficult it would be for any parent to be confronted with a situation where the perpetrator is their own child. Commentators are quite clinical about what the parents should have done and when they should have done it, so I was glad Charles brought the conversation from the realm of the emotional down to reality.

I feel sad that the victims are being violated again because of media’s fixation and people salivating over their storm.

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2015

@Mmabatho,

People are definitely salivating over their storm. I felt Whoopi Goldberg’s anger thru my TV when she spoke about it. Her anger and that of many others is because the Duggars have spoken up against the transgender/LGBT lifestyle.

Missed the interview with Charles Blow.
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AwesomelyOZ June 6, 2015

I don’t watch this show either but I know of the series and their family values. I think they’re just too much in their beliefs and to hear this was, not going to lie, sad and amusing. It’s just insane that they are trying to represent great values and yet look at what their son did – sure we’re all human but you don’t see older brothers just going around molesting their sisters.

I am not sure how their family went about the whole “sex” topic, other than it should be reserved for marriage however, a lot of times imposing extreme repression on a biological need can drive a human to obsession and insanity. I don’t care what people want to say about the matter: sex is a biological need and requirement for the continuation of mankind. We are biologically programmed to desire and and want sex.

We must all learn to control it but at the same time people need to stop making it such a “taboo” and “immoral” topic – it’s not. It’s sex. The older one probably had urges and was programmed into thinking it’s morally wrong and he behaved in such a manner. He was probably also programmed into thinking masturbation is bad as were the urges he felt. That’s when things get bad. The urges are normal and masturbation has great health benefits. People get all uncomfortable about these topics – get over it.

He does need to step up and admit what he did and not have his dad Jim Bob (most hilarious name ever) speak on his behalf. Yeah he messed up, and he messed up bad and very grotesque manner, but you know what? I find his family disturbing so there’s that. Have a great weekend Yvonne! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase June 8, 2015

@Iva,

Some people call him Jim Boob (hilarious!)

You make a lot of valid points. Christians need to change the way we talk to kids about sex. It’s good within marriage. The way its taught, some might think its disgusting and dirty.

I definitely understand when you say this: “A lot of times imposing extreme repression on a biological need can drive a human to obsession and insanity. The older one probably had urges and was programmed into thinking it’s morally wrong and he behaved in such a manner.”

I’d be very interested in hearing him speak since he was the one that did the “crime.”

Thanks for stopping by. Your comments are always great.
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