Tia Mowry Says No To Gender Roles In Her Marriage

by Yvonne Chase on January 12, 2016

Avoiding Gender Roles
I read a post recently about Tia Mowry-Hardrict who said avoiding gender roles led to the success of her 16-year marriage to Cory Hardrict. Here’s what she told HuffPost Live:

“It takes a supportive husband.  He is [pretty involved]. People always ask this, because we’ve been together for so long. It’s been 16 years now.  I think what Cory and I do, is we don’t put ‘gender roles’ on our relationship. If I am working a lot and Cory is home, he will put Cree to bed. And if dishes need to be washed, he will wash them. So it’s not like a “Uh, I’m going to wait until my wife gets home and she’s going to be doing all of [the home duties].’

“Last year my husband was gone eight months out of the year, shooting American Sniper, he just finished doing a movie called Spectral that comes out next year, and I had to take on those responsibilities that a “father would do.” I had to go outside and teach my son how to kick a ball or whatever.  So we don’t put labels on each other.  It’s a team effort and at the end of the day, it’s winning. And however we get there, that’s what we do.”

Active Participant In Your Marriage
What Tia described has nothing to do with gender roles and everything to do with being an active participant in your marriage.  What if Tia is out of town working for three days? Does the kid stay up all night until she returns? Why would you not take care of your kid when your spouse is out of town? Didn’t you create the kid? Why would you not wash dishes and tidy the kitchen? Isn’t it your home too? 

Woman’s Work
Based on observation plus growing up in a two-parent home, the responsibility of homemaking and child management tends to land on the woman’s shoulders but that doesn’t mean the husband can’t step up and participate.  He can fix a bottle and change a diaper or two.  A man stuck on gender roles would take on the attitude of well, I’m not cooking or cleaning or doing any sort of “Woman’s work” under any circumstances and that man would deserve a knock upside his head with divorce papers cause clearly, he doesn’t want to be married. Marriage is teamwork. We do this together or it ain’t getting done!

Stay At Home Dad
We are living in a world of ever-changing gender roles.  Many wives today are the breadwinners.  Tia seems to be the breadwinner of her household but that doesn’t make her husband any less of a man.  I remember watching an episode of Shark Tank where the husband lost his job and was unable to find another for an extended period of time. Prior to that, his wife stayed at home and shuttled the kids back and forth to school.  During his extended unemployment, she began to look for work and found a great opportunity. The roles were now reversed.  He became the stay at home dad responsible for carpooling, packing lunches and taking the kids to and from school while she went out to work and became the sole breadwinner.  

Create Order In A Relationship
In my last post, I mentioned a discussion of gender roles between Sam and Neil on Married At First Sight.  Sam wants to be the less dominant person and she wants Neil to be “The man” and the more dominant person in their marriage.  I get what she’s saying however, I don’t believe what she wants has anything to do with gender roles.  Gender roles can be interchangeable as Tia describes by both men and women, however, a man will always be a man even if he’s a stay at home dad and a woman will always be a woman even if she’s the sole breadwinner.

Something to think about…

What say you? What is your understanding of gender roles?

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SHARON February 26, 2019

I think gender roles make a marriage more difficult to make work. That should be a thing of the past. Back in the day people placed roles in the marriage. The man brought in the money the women stayed barefoot and pregnant. I think this changed when the woman had to get a job!

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