Toilet Paper, Dating And The Paradox Of Choice

by Yvonne Chase on April 15, 2018

Couldn’t Deal
The other day, I went to CVS to buy toilet paper and almost left with nothing. There were so many options and so many different price points that I just couldn’t deal. Charmin, Cottonelle, Scott, Seventh Generation, Angel Soft, Quilted Northern and the CVS brand were all staring at me and that’s not the entire list.

toilet
Best Quality
Some packs were 2-ply with 6 rolls while others were 1-ply with 12 rolls. Other brands had 4-2 ply rolls at a lower price point. The CVS brand offered a promotion plus a deep discount but was their brand the best quality? I walked up and down the aisle looking at the rolls, price point, and quality. Oh, there was even a brand that came with no inner cardboard tube. I’d never seen that so now that was in the running.

Take It Anymore
If I didn’t need toilet paper, I promise you I would’ve run out of CVS without it. When I couldn’t decide, I asked the sales associate for his best recommendation and that is what I bought.

Toilet Paper
Shopping for toilet paper reminds me of the plight single people face today when dating. We have so many options that some of us don’t choose. And even when we make a choice, we wonder if we made the best choice. 

Better Options
FOMO (fear of missing out) kicks in. We want to make sure we don’t miss out on something better so we don’t choose. FOMO keeps us on the lookout for better options. Watch the video below and we’ll continue after…

Hard To Focus
Today we have an abundance of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel to name a few plus a slew of online dating sites. It’s hard to focus on one person. We can’t even focus when on a date because we’re wondering if someone new swiped left or if there’s a message waiting in our inbox. We’re distracted!

Stress And Frustration
I’m sure the apps and online dating sites were created to make it easier to meet, greet and find romantic love, however, it seems the abundance of options has created stress and frustration.

toilet

More Is Less
In his book, The Paradox Of Choice, Why More Is Less, author Barry Schwartz shares a funny story about going to The Gap to buy a pair of regular jeans. The salesperson met him and asked what kind of jeans he wanted and then rattled off a list that included slim fit, easy fit, relaxed fit, baggy, extra baggy, stonewashed, acid washed or distressed, button fly, zipper fly, faded or regular?

No Longer Sure
He was stunned and sputtered out something along the lines of I just want a regular pair of jeans, you know, the kind that used to be the only kind. The trouble with all the options available to him is he was no longer sure he wanted “regular jeans.” In the end, he chose relaxed fit since they were the closest to a regular pair of jeans.

Question Yourself
The same thing happens to single people. You have a solid idea in your head of the kind of person you want to meet until you get out there amongst all the options and begin to question yourself. Do I really want to be with that kind of person? Here’s more from Barry:

As a culture, we are enamored of freedom, self-determination, and variety, and we are reluctant to give up any of our options. But clinging tenaciously to all the choices available to us contributes to bad decisions, to anxiety, stress, and dissatisfaction—even to clinical depression.

Does increased opportunities for choice actually make people happier? Conventional wisdom says the more choices people have, the better off they are, that the best way to get good results is to have very high standards, and that itʼs always better to have a way to back out of a decision than not. Conventional wisdom is wrong, at least when it comes to what satisfies us in the decisions we make.

Less Content
Singles can’t commit because of high standards and not wanting to settle. I’ve seen this repeatedly especially among men. The more choices he has the less content he is with the woman he chose, no matter how great she is. 

Throw Up
Today when I learned of Barbara Bush’s failing health, I Googled her to learn more and saw this quote, “I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children, they just about throw up.”

The Good Ol Days
Gone are the days of marrying the first man you kiss. I’d say those were the good ol days. It’s safe to say people who dated before our generation of options had it much easier than we do today. Back then, people often met through friends, family, church or a recommendation from someone in their close-knit community. They were able to build relationships and marry. While we have more options, we have less committed relationships and more hooking up. 

Water Your Own Grass
So what’s the solution? If you want to be successful in today’s dating scene, turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the various options and make a choice. Once you make your choice, know that the grass is not greener on the other side, the grass is greener where it’s watered. Water your own grass and ignore the options otherwise, you WILL miss out on someone amazing.

toilet
Something to think about…

What say you? Have more options complicated dating? If you’re not dating in this generation what was dating like for you? Are you glad you are not a part of today’s dating scene? What advice do you have for singles seeking a committed relationship while swimming in a sea of options?

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

Christin April 17, 2018

Great post! It is so true that we have so many choices today! The advice on watering our own grass is excellent. We can truly find happiness and contentment when we eliminate the noise around us and focus on the godly relationships God puts in our paths. Blessings to you!

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Yvonne Chase April 22, 2018

@Christin,

It drives me crazy the amount of choice we have in everything. We have to eliminate the noise around us and focus on the choice we made otherwise we will be in and out of relationships.
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Laurie April 17, 2018

I agree that having so many choices makes it hard to decide. I think your “water your own grass” philosophy can work for anyone – dating or not. I love that!
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Yvonne Chase April 22, 2018

@Laurie,

Single people have so many choices today that they’re not choosing one person. Instead, many have chosen to run through as many singles as possible and then they will make a choice when they have one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.
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Karen Friday April 18, 2018

Yvonne, what a great analogy…dating to toilet paper. 😉 Or like the book to our choice of blue jeans. And that’s hilarious about your kids almost throwing up on the Barbara Bush kiss story. Love how you conclude with making a choice and watering your own grass. Because God doesn’t give us tons of options and choices in the Bible on how to be obedient to Him. No, we simply choose to do so and walk in His favor and blessing if we do.

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Yvonne Chase April 22, 2018

@Karen

I don’t have kids. Barbara was speaking about her kids.

Great point about God not giving us a bunch of choices on how to be obedient. We’re either obedient or not…that’s it!
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Trina Taylor April 18, 2018

Girl, you are so right. Whether dating or not, we are inundated with options.

I do not envy single people on today’s dating scene. I’d lose my mind between all the apps and dating sites. How do you do it?

Water your own grass is great advice. Being content with your choice is also worth remembering.

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Brenda April 19, 2018

Isn’t that so true, Yvonne? All the choices have an unsettling effect on our lives, don’t they? Whether tissue or jeans or events, it seems we’re accustomed to needing more, not less. Good reminder to choose wisely once, and then to be content. 🙂
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Sue April 20, 2018

I love your last point. So true, the grass is most definitely greener where it’s watered!! If more people realised this, our divorce rates would plummet. Sadly, we are spoiled for (supposed) “choice” and constantly looking for something “better”. Great post!!
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Yvonne Chase April 22, 2018

@Sue,

You are so right, the divorce rate would definitely plummet if people remembered to water their own grass and to choose their choice daily. In romantic love, don’t choose once, we choose daily to commit to the choice we made.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Missionary Dating Your Way To Marriage Is A Bad IdeaMy Profile

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Amy @ The Quiet Homemaker April 21, 2018

So funny and true! I love the end. Make a decision and remember that the grass is not greener on the other side! I say always look for the blessings in the situation that you are in! If you are always looking over the fence you are never going to be happy. Thanks for the post.

Thanks for linking up @LiveLifeWell!

Blessings,

Amy

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Yvonne Chase April 22, 2018

@Amy,

I love this: “Look for the blessing in the situation you’re in.” So right and so true. Sometimes we need a magnifying glass to find the blessing, but the blessing is definitely there if we want to find it and see it.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Toilet Paper, Dating And The Paradox Of ChoiceMy Profile

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Gretchen Fleming April 22, 2018

“The grass is greener where it is watered.” Profound!! Well said!

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Jessica @ Overwhelmed to Fulfilled April 22, 2018

Water your own grass is the best advice for just about every part of life. You have some great tips! Thank you for sharing with us at #LiveLifeWell.

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Laura Thomas April 23, 2018

I hear you with the toilet paper… I find myself zoning out as I consider the plethora of options. Crazy! And it definitely translates into so many areas of life—we really are spoilt for choice. Fascinating article. I’m your neighbour at #FaithonFire 🙂

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Rachel Lee April 23, 2018

Water your own grass!! Yes! Love it! <3

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