Is A Woman Ever Too Successful To Date?

by Yvonne Chase on June 19, 2013

successfulDumped Because She’s Too Successful
Today on HuffPost Live, I read a blurb that said, “The more successful a woman is, the more difficulty she may encounter in the dating world.”  It went on to mention women who had been dumped for being too successful.   Here’s what I think, I don’t believe a woman is ever too successful to date and I don’t believe a woman is dumped because she’s too successful.

Difficult To Date
I believe some successful women don’t know how to handle their success while dating therefore they become difficult to date.  If a woman is caught up in her success and she leads with that, men will be turned off.  In addition, some women allow their career success to change their relationship behavior.

Priest, Provider, Protector
The relationship world has changed.  Today, 40% of women are breadwinners.  Even with that statistic in place, men still want to be the priest, protector and provider.  They still want to lead.  They still want to feel like men.  Doesn’t mean a woman can’t be successful.  What it does mean is this, if a woman doesn’t understand the makeup of a man, how he’s wired, what turns him on and what ticks him off, her success could be a stumbling block especially if she feels the need to remind him of it every third minute.

Tied To His Wallet
The flip side of that coin is, a man has to know who he is outside of his success otherwise he will make her success a problem.  A huge part of a man’s identity is tied to his wallet.  If he loves his career/job and he’s rolling in the dough, all is well, he feels great about himself and chances are he won’t have a problem with your success.  If he hates his job and is making just enough to keep a roof over his head, chances are he won’t feel that great about himself and your success might be a reminder of how unsuccessful he is.  Some men, no matter how much a woman tries will never be comfortable with a woman’s success because he is not comfortable with himself.  That’s not her problem. Its his. No one should have to play small to make you feel big.

Bonus Instead Of A Burden
Ladies, here’s a newsflash for you, men don’t choose women based on degrees and dollars.  Your degree, dollars, Mercedes and mansion do not automatically make you a great catch.  Men choose you based on who you are.  He chooses you because of your personality and how he feels when he’s with you.  He chooses you because of the emotional connection he has with you.  If you can be successful and still let your womanly essence shine through, your success now becomes a bonus instead of a burden.

Change Your Bait
Here’s my conclusion to the whole matter; saying you’re too successful to date is like saying you’re too beautiful to get a date.  Its all rubbish!  For the woman who thinks she’s too successful to date, I have a question for you: are you relying on your success to lure him in? If you are, you might want to change your bait.  I’ll be discussing this on HuffPost Live today at 6:30pm PST.  Tune in.

Something to think about…

What say you? Is a woman ever too successful to date?

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Candice Frederick June 19, 2013

yeah, i definitely know for a fact that many men are intimidated by any type of successful woman, no matter how much they say they aren’t. sad.

Yvonne Chase June 19, 2013

@Candice…I think we need to separate the two. Because he’s intimidated doesn’t mean she’s too successful to date.

Robert Nelson June 20, 2013

My comment is just like there is still a glass ceiling, there are men who are intimidated by successful women or worse think they got there via sexual favors

Yvonne Chase June 21, 2013

@Robert, I heard something said once that I believe to be true. Some men aren’t intimidated by a woman’s success. They’re intimidated by what they make that success mean to them…I can’t buy her anything, she already has it. I can’t take her to a new place, she’s already been. I can’t expose her to anything new, she’s already done it.

Ambitious Curls June 29, 2013

Great post! I agree relationships are based on who you are and not anything else!

Yvonne Chase June 29, 2013

@Ambitious Curls…Agree. I think it sounds good for a woman to say she was dumped because she’s too successful vs she had a bad attitude, or she keeps being dumped, or the guy didn’t like her etc. Its funny the reasons we can come up with that sound good instead of dealing with the real reason of why we were dumped.

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