Ask Coach Yvonne: Do I Continue To Wait And Pray?
December 13, 2013 Ask Coach Yvonne

prayWaiting And Praying
Last night after our weekly Twitter Christian Singles Chat, I received a direct message from one of my followers with the following question:

Okay, I’ve always been told to wait on God when it comes to dating by the mothers of the church.  Okay, so I’m waiting and praying…no problem but then other people say it’s my fault that I’m 29 yrs old and never dated.  Part of me is starting to believe them.  I’m confused.  What do I do? Do I continue to wait? Waiting is what I’ve been taught. 

Me: Hey there, sure you continue to wait however, you can do things while you wait.  Waiting is not about putting your life on hold and doing nothing.  Have you tried Internet dating? How about occupying your time with that? Its a great way to meet men and learn how to go on a date; which is simply meeting, greeting and having conversations.  Have lots of conversations while you wait.  A colleague of mine was waiting, praying, Internet dating, having lots of conversations, volunteering, working, flying solo, going out with friends and living life when she met her now fiance on an Internet dating site.  They are set to walk down the aisle in February 2014.

What else are you doing while you wait? Are you involved in opportunities that will expose you to meeting a godly man? All of that is a part of waiting.  Does that make sense? You can go on a lot of dates and screen a lot of men while you pray and wait.  And you can also learn a lot about you in the process.

Her: I just signed up on Christian Mingle and I do go out to the movies or shopping with friends and family sometimes.  Should I go out by myself since all my friends are married? I really don’t know what to do lol

Me:  That’s great.  Try other sites.   Keep putting yourself out there.  Keep showing up for life.  Do something you’ve always wanted to do.  Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go.  Let your friends and family know you’re available for dates.  Most importantly, keep a good attitude while you wait and enjoy the journey.

Her: Wow! Thanks Ms. Yvonne

Me: My pleasure.

Expect To Receive
I looked up the definition of waiting and here’s what I found: waiting is being and remaining ready and available for use.  While you pray and wait, listen to God and do what he tells you to do.  Let him develop you while you wait.  Go where he tells you to go.  Show up and be ready.  Expect to receive while you wait.  I’m waiting on God for a lot of things however, I’m also doing a lot while I wait and taking advantage of every opportunity that comes my way.

Wait, Pray And Do Something
Today during my prayer time, I put one of those things before God and my phone rang no sooner than I said Amen with a possibility.  My phone rang because earlier in the week, I took advantage of an opportunity presented to me by a colleague.  My colleague shared the opportunity with me because I told her I was looking for it.  Had I not taken action, I wouldn’t be on the path to my answer.  See how that works? Wait, pray and do something!


Flying Solo Is A Must
To answer her question should she go out by herself, my answer is she should absolutely go out by herself and so should you.  Flying solo is a must.  Last week I went out to listen to live music with myself at a restaurant/lounge.  I use the term “with myself” because I’m enjoying my own company.  I requested a table for one, looked at the menu, ordered something lite to eat because it was late and enjoyed the show.

I’m Impressed With You
On my way out of the restaurant, a gentleman stopped me and said, “I’m impressed with you!” I stood there wondering why and then he said, “You walked into this space, you confidently took your seat and you enjoyed your own company.  That is very sexy!”  WOW! I had no idea anyone was paying attention.  Every single single woman should do what I did and do it often.  Its at the top of my list of recommendations.

Something to think about…

What say you? Did I miss anything? How would you answer her question?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

"16" Comments
  1. My heart aches for everyone that hasn’t found “the One” yet. Praying that God will direct your perfect mate to you

  2. I love this post. I wait on God for many answers, most of the time it’s the answer I’m look for. I do a lot of “me” time, because sometimes I just like to relax and enjoy me.

    • @Talitha,

      Waiting on God is non-negotiable however, if there are things we can do while we wait, that is also non-negotiable. There is always something we can do while we wait on God and if we’re listening for his still small voice, he will tell us and show us exactly what to do.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  3. i agree with you yvonne. one of my mantras is God helps those who help themselves. dating isn’t easy, but you gotta work for what you want!

    • @Catherine,

      A lot of Christians believe waiting means doing nothing especially when it comes to meeting a mate. That thought is more popular amongst women. Men look for women day and night. I believe women ought to do the same.

      Like I said in the post, there are so many things to do while we wait; everything from Internet dating to volunteering. Both of which could put a single woman in the space to meet a mate.

      Thanks for stopping by!

  4. Yes! Waiting doesn’t mean doing nothing! While waiting, you can be learning the skills that will make you a good wife, building relationships through your church, neighborhood, and community, and living a full life! This is very true!

  5. @Rachel G,

    Amen! I just completed a great Bible study that was all about how to be a good wife Gods way. I’d recommend it to every single woman on the planet as a matter of fact, after taking the class and really digging into the pages of homework, I don’t think any woman should marry without it.

    That class allowed me to build relationships and contributed to living a full life.

    Thanks for a great comment.

  6. For some reason people assume “waiting” is another term for idling around when in fact you should be more engaging and proactive with life to find that right person. I have this conversation with women several times – you can’t just “hope” Mr. Right comes in front of your door-step, you have to grab life by the horns and make things happen! Live life don’t wait around for it to start! Have a great one Yvonne! -Iva

  7. @AwesomelyOZ,

    I don’t know why people think like that. Last I heard, Mr. Right is not ringing doorbells looking for Ms. Right to make her Mrs. Right. Grabbing life by the horns is the only way to go plus its much more exciting than sitting around twiddling your thumbs.

    LOVE this: “Live life…don’t wait for it to start.”

    Thanks for stopping by with a great comment.

  8. But internet dating though?

  9. @Naijawife,

    Yes to Internet dating. I know several people who met their spouses via this method. If you know how to work it, its a great way to meet potential partners.

  10. I think your advice was perfect. As I began reading your post, I was reminded of the story about the man who waited on God to save him while he was trapped by a flood. He refused help from a boat, helicopter etc because he said he was waiting on God. He drowned and when he went to Heaven, God told him that He sent him a boat, helicopter etc. to help him but he refused.

    My sister, a divorced mother, is waiting on God for a new man too. I have been trying to give her the same advice you gave your follower. I suggested Christian Mingle too. But no dice. I just continue to pray for her. Thank you for linking up to Traffic Jam Weekend, Yvonne.

  11. @Kimberly…

    That story is definitely fitting. While he was waiting on God, he did not recognize the help God sent his way. He didn’t recognize Gods hand.

    God sends lets of opportunities our way while we wait. Its up to us to recognize the opportunities then take advantage of the opportunities. Internet dating isn’t for everyone but I do believe its at least worth a try since that is the way most people are meeting and marrying today.

    Thanks for having me at Traffic Jam Weekend.

  12. Pingback: Stepping Out On Jesus To Marry Muhammad Is Not Okay — Living Single, Dating & Marriage!

  13. This is very good. Another example of waiting is your waiter or waitress at a restaurant. They are serving you. If you are serving God by serving others, that perspective relationship may develop from that. “Work while you wait.”

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