White Men, Black Love And Interracial Dating

by Yvonne Chase on May 14, 2018

Irony Of It All
Over the weekend while watching season two of the docu-series Black Love with my Twitter peeps, a white man showed up in my DMs. The irony of it all.

Strong Attraction To Black Women
Here it is I’m watching a show about black couples; how they met and the nuances of their relationship and of all things, a white man wants to get to know me? Below is some of our message exchange: 

Good evening beautiful. Such a pleasure to meet you during Black Love doc! I’m Jeremy from NYC. I have a strong attraction to black women. (No surprise there. I am approached more by white men than black men for that very reason.) My first kiss was with a black girl at 16. I think black women are so beautiful, sweet, outgoing, loving caring and love sharing the same interests.

High Racial Tension
There was a time when I was completely open to interracial dating. Today, I’m not so sure. The conversation continued:

How do you feel about all the unjust killing of black men and women by white policemen?

It’s awful! I get so upset hearing about the stories about the injustice black men and women suffer! The one that got me mad the most was Eric Garner but all of them are maddening!

Have you dated a black woman in this time of high racial tension?

Yes I have a few black women 😊

Do you only date black women?

I prefer dating black women but I’m open to all races

Prefers Dating Black Women
He wants to exchange numbers and meet up, however, it’s a, “No” for me. I don’t like the fact that he prefers dating black women. Furthermore, showing up in my DMs while watching Black Love is suspect. Plus, I don’t know if I’m still open to dating a non-black man; specifically a white man. This black woman is a HUGE fan of black men. Black love is where it’s at for me. 


Black Lives Do Not Matter
We are living in a time of high racial tension. Seems like every day a Black man is shot and killed by a white policeman who gets off scot-free. There is no consequence for this heinous behavior. Black lives do not matter! That bothers me. It makes me angry. 

Not A Safe Place For Black Men
When I watch a video of two innocent black men escorted out of Starbucks in handcuffs like slaves and I see the look of fear on their faces that says, if I say one word, my life could end instantaneously, I am vexed. The world is not a safe place for black men and black people for that matter. 

Mistreated Because Of His Skin Color
How do I live this truth in a relationship with a white man? How do I share that pain with someone who will never know what it’s like to be marginalized and mistreated because of his skin color? Racism is alive on every front. 

They Get Each Other
Tennis star Serena Williams comes to mind. She says she never expected to end up with a white man, however, she did because she met someone who got her and together they get each other.

white
Pretended Like She Did
In addition, Serena says they both know the importance of hard work in different ways; her on the tennis court and him running Reddit, one of the top websites in the world. He was not a tennis fan and she knew nothing about his website even though she pretended like she did when they met.

I Never See Color
Prior to dating and marrying her now husband, Serena dated a couple of black men. She says race is not an issue for her. “When I date someone, I never see color. I date who I have chemistry with.”

Driving Out Racism
I don’t know if the man for me is black, white, a combination of the two or some other race. Here’s what I do know, if he is a godly man who will love me only second to Christ, we can go the distance. Once his heart is led by the Holy Spirit, race won’t be a factor because he will have the love of God shed abroad in his heart. That love is the only love capable of driving out racism.

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35 By this, all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35

Something to think about…

What say you? What do you think about interracial dating specifically between black and white people in the 21st century? 

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Joanne Viola May 15, 2018

Good Morning Yvonne. How I wish all the hate filled words and actions would no longer exist. But we know this will probably never be as the enemy works overtime to keep fueling the fires. But I pray for God to fill my heart and mind with His love so that I can love all people for we all bear the image of Christ and this should be what binds us together. May we each ask the Lord to uproot any racism which would seek to grow in our hearts for it must begin with us. One at a time. Blessings, friend!
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Yvonne Chase May 16, 2018

@Joanna,

Amen. So much truth in your comment. The enemy is working overtime to fuel the fires of hate and division. I wish more of us were aware of his schemes.

Yes, may we each ask the Lord to uproot any racism growing in our hearts. It begins with us.

Blessings to you…
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Wrae Sanders May 15, 2018

I’m biracial so I probably have a different perspective. I’m obviously all for interracial dating- my husband is white. It does have its rough spots. He doesn’t always get some issues but we get and love each other and in the end that’s all that matters.
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Yvonne Chase May 16, 2018

@Wrae,

My neighbor who is biracial came over last night to catch up and we got to talking about this. She is in a relationship with a Jewish man.

One of the things she shared with me was a story about how easy it was for him to land a well-paying job straight out of college meanwhile, it was more of a struggle for her.

She says having these conversations can be extremely hard in her relationship, however, they work through it one situation at a time. He doesn’t always get some issues and other issues she discusses with others.
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Michele Morin May 15, 2018

Very interested in your thoughts here, Yvonne. My youngest son’s best friend is black. They are only 16, so my “concern” is premature, but I know his opportunity to meet and potentially marry a black woman is very limited here in Maine. I’ve been wondering about this, and your input is very helpful in seeing it from a perspective that is not available to me.
Blessings to you and many thanks!
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Lauren Sparks May 15, 2018

Hi Yvonne. Visiting you today from the teaching what is good link up. I was drawn to your post as a white woman because I am constantly trying to broaden my cultural view by choosing to sit under teaching of those who look differently from me. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. You made some very valid points and I appreciate the education. laurensparks.net
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Yvonne Chase May 16, 2018

@Lauren,

Thanks for stopping by and thanks for being open to broadening your cultural view. We need more people who are willing to do just that. We are all Gods children who make up the family of God. All of us are needed to turn this around to make this family look the way God designed it.
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Sue Donaldson May 15, 2018

Keep sharing your thoughts and views, my friend. the world needs you! And God’s almighty forgiveness and love!
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Yvonne Chase May 16, 2018

@Sue,

What the world needs now, is love sweet love, it’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.

And you’re right, the world also needs God’s almighty forgiveness.
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Rachel Lee May 17, 2018

“If he is a man who will love me only second to Christ, then we can go the distance.” Yes and amen to that! !

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Yvonne Chase May 22, 2018

@Rachel,

That’s the correct order; God first, me second. I believe if we have that straight, all else will fall in line.
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Trina Taylor May 17, 2018

Thank you for tackling the hard topics many of us would rather not discuss.

Love is love. If you happen to find it with someone outside of your race, go for it.

To intentionally seek it outside your race or to prefer something other than your race presents deeper issues.

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Yvonne Chase May 22, 2018

@Trina,

Tackling the hard topics is what I do. Somebody’s gotta do it.

Intentionally seeking love outside of one’s race whether black or white is definitely a sign of deeper issues.

If you think something is wrong with your race to the point that you want no parts of it then you are essentially telling me something is wrong with you. That’s a problem.
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Rachel Lee May 22, 2018

Yvonne, I am excited for YOU to be our spotlight feature on the #destinationInspiration linkup this Thursday! Thank you for sharing with us each week. 🙂
-Rachel Lee

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Kimberly H. Smith May 23, 2018

Hi Yvonne, First of all thank you for letting me know that Black Love is doing a second season. I thoroughly enjoyed the first season. Interracial dating is very prevalent particularly here in the south where the very idea is still frowned upon by many people. Even television commercials show interracial families more than they once did. That’s because it is the true makeup of what exists today. Love is love. I shake my head when I hear some white people say that there is no mixed blood in their family. Trust me when I tell you, it’s there somewhere. You are my feature for this week’s Traffic Jam Weekend on Thursday. Thanks for sharing!
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